Morons and Other Thoughts

My Day Today!

2007-08-27T17:02:00.000+09:30

There's a crazy lady that walks around my area, she wears scruffy clothes, has more facial hair than my dad (for those that don't know, thats a fair bit), and has pretty gross teeth. She has dirty hands, and she smells.
I was at the bus stop this morning and saw her coming, she always likes to stop and mutter something, and today this muttering involved rubbing my arms.
From what I could make out, she has a cold, and so even though the weather was quite warm today (I think that is why she was touching my arms...), so she has to stay inside and can't go to watch Sturt play.

Then when in town after uni, I went to the toilets in the Myer Centre. While coming out of the cubicle, a lady stopped me (I am serious, I was about one step out of the cubicle), and asked if she could ask me a question. I said yes, and she then talked for about 2 minutes about anti-depressants. Once she finished she just stood there staring at me.
I was a little annoyed, being bombarded as I walk out of the toilet and all, so I said "Thats not a question." Which I now think was a little rude . She said she wanted $6, and I said that I would check, if I could just be allowed to wash my hands!
She followed me to the sink, and then kept asking if I would check now. I did, and I only had a $50 note, so I apologised and said I couldn't help, she asked "Well I will take whatever you have", and I said I only had $50, and she said "Ok, no worries, I can take that." Ex-squeeze me? I laughed, thinking she was joking, but she remained straight-faced and said it again.
Er, no.

And finally, my last story for the day (so far...), happened when I was leaving Supre. I had my uni bag with me, and the guy at the door asked to check my bag. I was messaging someone at the time, so as took my bag from my shoulder, and he leaned in to look closer, I smacked him right in the eye with my phone. He made some sort of grunt sound, and grabbed his eye, I apologised: "Oh my God, oh my God, I'm so sorry!", he just goes "Uh-huh", I continue to apologise...
HOW EMBARRASSING!! It was a pretty hard whack, possibly hard enough to bruise I would say. So don't get in my way, bitches!

Whatever!

2007-08-02T18:37:00.000+09:30

I was walking down North Terrace to Uni this arvo when I was stopped by some guy trying to sign people up to The Child Fund, or whatever it was called. Normally I say I'm in a hurry or whatever (not that I don't wanna help out charity or anything, I just don't wanna sign up to one of those things...I have a friend who was once mesmorised by the Scottish accent of one of those charity 'salesmen', that he signed up to something he really didn't know what it was (even months later ... "something about the environment maybe? Or children? Saving kids, or trees....?") and then had trouble getting out of it!)...so I said my "No, sorry, I'm late for uni..." and the guy goes, "no, no..I just wanted to know if you do that often..what you just did back there?"

I look back thinking maybe I had accidently littered, and he was angry? With a confused look on my face, I asked what he meant, and he said: "Take everyone's breath away."

Blegh!!

Then he went on to talk about his charity.

Nice try!

cough

2007-07-06T12:17:00.000+09:30

This 13-ish year old boy came up to the counter at work yesterday, wearing something that looked like this:

Too Cool.

I don't know if this is cool or not (I'm thinking not.), but the little guy who thought he was heaps cool couldn't even talk with the bloody thing in his mouth. He kept mumbling, they were slipping (so he had to put his hand in his mouth to fix them), and at one point he had to slurp the drool back into his mouth.

LOSER

Today at work...

2007-06-29T22:36:00.000+09:30

~ I had a conversation with a smelly man that was trying to tell me he got to keep the tray his meal came on, once he'd finished eating. I thought he was joking, so I kinda said "No..." awkwardly and laughed nervously. I went and told my manager about this crazy customer..and he goes "You didn't give him a tray did you? He takes them." He was serious??

~ I went out to clean the dining room where I noticed a bit of chocolate on the ground. I grabbed a few napkins and picked it up to put in the bin. As I picked it up, I notice it wasn't chocolate. It was poop.

~ A lady ordered one ice cream cone. I gave it to her, and she motioned sitting it down on the counter. She couldn't speak english, so i figured she wanted a cone holder..dunno why cos it was only one cone so why can't she just hold it with her hand!? So I gave her the cone holder and she said no, then made some more hand signals, prompting me to ask: "You want a bag?" She nodded, and I said "It's an icecream cone. A bag won't work." She pulled an angry face and persisted so I got her the bag. She made me put the icecream cone in the bag. What a bloody weirdo.

2007-06-21T19:52:00.000+09:30

At work today we only had one happy meal toy, Princess Fiona from Shrek.

Here's some conversations I had with customers while working:

(I hand the happy meal toy to the customer...)
Customer: "Do you have anything else?"
Me: "No, sorry, thats the only one we have until tomorrow, sorry."
Customer: "So, you have no others? My son already has this one."
Me: "Yeah, thats all we have until tomorrow, sorry. If you wanna leave it in the plastic, you can swap it elsewhere, or bring it back tomorrow and we'll swap it over for you."
Customer: "But don't you have any other toys?"
Me: "No, that is the only one we have."
Customer: "We already have this one. There aren't any other toys?"
You RETARD!! We have NO OTHER TOYS!!!
That one happened about 10 times, minimum. If your kid already has that one, maybe stop taking them to bloody maccas more than once a week!

Another one....
Customer: "Which toys do you have today?"
Me: "At the moment we only have Princess Fiona."
Customer: "You don't have Shrek?"
Me: "No, sorry, not until tomorrow."
Customer: "But West Lakes has Shrek."
Me (getting impatient as its the middle of Thursday night shopping dinner rush...): "Yeah, sorry, we don't have any new toys until tomorrow. If you want to take this one now, you can swap it tomorrow, if you like..."
Customer: "Do you know what stores do have other toys?"
Me: "er....[I name some close by stores] might, but I'm really not sure."
Customer: "Could you find out?"
Me: "Erm, [looking out at the sea of people waiting to order not-so-subtley to hint that there is no time for this..] we're quite busy at the moment..."
Customer: "Maybe you could call some other stores to find out which ones have any others..."
How bout no!!

Another lady ordered a happy meal, I gave her the toy, went through the first scenario again, and her son said "Mum, I want the Princess", and the Mum said: "No, thats for girls."
Son: "Yeah, but I don't care."
Mum: "No!! You can't have it. You're a BOY! That toy is a girl, for girls."
Son: "Please Mum."
Mum (to me): "So you have nothing else?"
Bloody hell just give the kid the princess.

One of these scenarios happened with 2 out of every 3 customers. Arrrrrgh!!! Just take the damn toy or leave it!!

Tomorrow...As in 2 days from now.

2007-06-18T20:24:00.000+09:30

On Saturday morning I had to work from 7am, and seeing as how I don't drive, and buses don't run that early on weekends, I had to catch a taxi.

I got dad to call and book the taxi for me on Friday evening. This is how he said it happened: he called Yellow, pressed 2 "to book a taxi for tomorrow", and then was put through to an operator. He made the booking for 6:45am, said our address and the destination, and then the operator said: "Ok, so 6:45 tomorrow morning?" Dad said yes, and she said "All done, lovey!"

So Saturday morning I get up, get ready and wait at the door at 6:40 (I had been warned the day before to make sure the driver didn't ring the door bell and disturb the whole family - like they don't disturb me every second of my LIFE ...er..ahem....).
So...6:45 comes. 6:50 comes. 6:52 comes, and I decide to ring them to see whats happening. The chick on the phone told me there was no booking for my address, and said "So you want a taxi?" uh, well, yeah!! So she said she'd send one as soon as possible. 20 minutes later a taxi comes. Bloody hell I could've slept longer!!

I told Dad about the drama when I got home, and he again told me the conversation that took place between him and the operator lady.

Then, this morning (Monday), at 6:45, there was a ring on the doorbell. Our doorbell is faulty (tip: if you ever come to my house, don't ring the doorbell, cos no one will answer it. We will always think its just a fault.), so no one bothered getting up and I went back to sleep. Dad told me later today that the ring was followed by another ring and then someone banging on the door. So he got up and it was a taxi driver: "Someone called for a taxi?".. yes! 2 days ago!

Dad rang to put in a complaint, and the lady said to him what the problem was... "Oh..I see what you've done wrong there.. You should have said that you wanted the taxi on Saturday the 16th of June. Simple mistake."

Dad goes: "But I pressed "2" which was to book the taxi 'tomorrow', and since it was friday, that could only really mean saturday. And then when the operator said to me, "So thats tomorrow morning?", when else could 'tomorrow' have been?"
She said, "yes, but when she confirmed 'tomorrow' you should have said 'Yes, Saturday 16th of June.', to save any misinterpretation."

I'm sorry, "misinterpretation?"

How many other ways are there to interpret TOMORROW!?

Sing Along!!

2007-06-08T12:01:00.000+09:30

On the bus on the way to town from work last night some girls were playing music on their phone. I hate it when people do that (enough to put 'hate' in italics, bold, and underline it!). They played some rap type song that I had not heard before (thank God for that cos it was shit), then the Captain Planet theme song. The next track was this thing from South Park that I recognise as being Sam's alarm tone, so it already evokes bad memories (having to wake up), but then they started talking along with it. Then Irreplacable by Beyonce came on, and, yep, they continued singing. It was painful to listen to.

Then "Heaven" (the old slower version), which they also sang and sucked at.

Then that Girlfriend song ('Take a look at my girlfriend...') yep, sang that too.

THEN Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. They did that thing where you mumble as if you know the words but they actually don't. Which was actually more annoying than singing I think. Come on girls, even I know the words and I despise that song.
Then the Beyonce Shakira song, and they sang too.

WHHHYYYYY???

The whole way to town I just wanted to turn around and tell em to shut up!!

Ah Dad....

2007-05-15T22:33:00.000+09:30

I joke sometimes that my Dad is obsessive compulsive. I'm not allowed to bring the bins from the curb because I don't put them back properly (but I get 'in trouble' when I don't ). I always used to put them back crooked or not aligned.

I also don't stack the dishes 'correctly'. And I put the milk back in the fridge 'wrong' (the spout needs to be facing the front..I just put it in however I was holding it). And he has bought the same brand things since as long as I can remember - a few weeks ago our neighbour was going to the shops so kindly stopped by to see if there was anything we wanted her to pick up. Dad took up the offer and asked if she could get bread and milk. She brought back completely different brands and Dad had a complete freak out.

The other thing that really annoys me is his obsession with light switches. In some rooms we have the switches at both doors...eg the hallway, there is a switch at each end so you can turn it on/off at both. Dad likes them to be 'correct'. i.e if the light is off, the switch is up, and if the light is on, the switch is down. (He chooses which one he sees as the "main" switch to reflect the light). In Mum and Dads room there is a light switch at the door and one above the bed...so you turn the light on as you go in, and off once you're in bed.... so he will set up in advance so that the switches will go back to how he wants them once in bed.

At one point or another they are going to be not how he wants them...so whats the freakin difference when that is!?!

*sigh*

Der!!

2007-04-13T19:15:00.000+09:30

At work I sometimes have to wear a horrid fluro orange vest when cleaning the dining area... It's way to big and hangs off of pretty much everyone that wears it and makes you look stupid, but whatever.

Today, while wearing the vest, three guys walked past and one of them said "Hey sexy....hot uniform! bahahahahahaha!!" Not being quick witted, I didn't know what to say, so just said "Thanks." (Although "At least I have all my teeth" would've been a nice subsitute, or "Still out of your league" was pointed out to me later...). I said it pretty seriously, with a smile like I was heaps happy with myself for looking so hot...but becuase of the outfit, I was pretty sure my sarcasm would come across....

The dude goes: "Er...I wasn't serious." Then laughed a bit more at how pathetic I was to think they were complimenting me.

WHAT?!? He wasn't serious??

Oh my goodness, thank you Captain Obvious!

Blimps and cucumbers

2007-03-04T17:05:00.000+10:30

Two school girls on the bus the other day were talking about the Holden Blimp thats been above Adelaide for the last week or so....
Apparently one of the girls knows someone who was got married on the blimp last weekend, and it help 400 people. The blimp, according to the girls, is 2 km wide, and 6km long.
Mmhm.

And onto the cucumbers section of the post... You know how in the first tute of a subject you have to introduce yourself and say something about yourself (or is that just first year subjects? After starting 3 different degrees I haven't moved on from first year yet...)... well in one of my courses, mainly filled with Sport and Rec students we had to get up and tell a bit about ourselves... After hearing constant "Hi... I'm _____ and I looooooove sport! Woo!" about 15 times before it got to me I thought it might be funny to say that I hate sport.
I don't know why I thought it would be funny. It wasn't.

Anyhoo... to "get to know eachother enough to be on a level where we can debate and discuss in tutorials" the tutor made us pass around using out thighs.

I'm sorry... What?

"E... mail?"

2007-02-01T18:45:00.000+10:30

My Dad has finally caved and freed us from our suffering, allowing us to connect our home comupter to the internet!

And I'm beginning to think that it may not be worth the sacrifices I have had to make in the last few days.

Dad had to ask me what e-mail is. And then I had to show him how to use it...

Me: "See up in the corner there, 'Outlook Express'...? Click on that."
Dad: "How?"
Me: "Oh, sorry, using the mouse."
... Dad lifts the mouse from the desk and proceeds to wave it about in the air... "It's not moving."
Me: "You need to keep it on the desk. "
...Dad replaces the mouse and moves it about half a centimetre, lifts it, replaces it, moves it half a centimetre, lifts it, replaces it, moves it half a centimetre...
Me: "Dad, just leave it sitting, and move it in one sweep."
He grasps this idea relatively quickly, but getting him to 'click' is a whole other post (let alone double click)!

Needless to say we didn't get very far with the emailing part of the lesson.

I've run out of things to blog about

2007-01-12T13:32:00.000+10:30

Yesterday I drank some milk from my fridge at home. It tasted a little off, so I checked the date.. 14th of Jan.. and noticed it was full, so had obviously just been opened. Rather than throwing it out straight away, I thought I would get a second opinion from Dad.

Me: "Dad, can you check the milk for me please? I think it tastes a little off."
Dad: "That's impossible. It's only just been opened."
Me: "Yeah, I know, but I just had some and it tastes a little funny. Just go see will you?"
Dad: "Krystle, its not off! It's expiration date is the 14th, and it's only just been opened. The fridge is fine. You must be imaginaing it. The milk is fine."
Me: "Look, I'm telling you it doesn't taste right to me, I just want a second opinion. Whatever." ... and I leave.

I get home a bit later....
Dad: "Why didn't you tell me it tasted so bad?! God Krystle, I took a huge gulp, I'm probably going to be sick now. You could have warned me."

Can't win.

(I am) Drunkety drunk drunk!

2006-12-30T22:40:00.000+10:30

You (one person - Grzyb) asked for a new post and you shall receive.

I got nothin.

Sorry dudes. its outside uni season and all I do is work so got nothing new.

Happy new Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S go check out the new coles range. it sucks. Its got quotes form people, like "Julie. Christmas lover", or "Jason, has an egg everyday." or "Peter, Yoghurt lover"

Anyway, this post is shit and I need another CC.

Long time no post

2006-12-12T18:39:00.000+10:30

Watching Oprah & she's walking around Auschwitz with a Holocaust survivor. Oprah said something about it being a death machine, the other guy says he'd prefer to say death "factory". At this point Oprah compares Auschwitz to a tomato soup factory. Can't remember her exact words, but whatever it was i'd say it wasn't entirely appropriate.

That's all i got. Except i sprained my ankle playing mini golf last week! Could only happen to me. Fricken hurt. Didn't help when JOHN dropped a golf ball on it either!

What do I say to that?

2006-11-14T19:46:00.000+10:30

A few weeks ago I was questioned by police (you can read about that here [it works now]), and he needed to take my details down, so asked for my license. I don't drive, so i gave him my learners permit, and our conversation went as follows...

Police Dude: "Ahh.. Learner, hey?
Me: "yep. 4 years going strong." (ah, shaddup)
Policeman: "4 years?! Just never got around to it, huh?"
Me: "I started in high school, but a few friends were in car accidents and it kinda put me off."
Policeman: "Yeah, my best mate died in a car accident. "
Me: "errrr"

Then tonight at work I was training some newbies, and trying to make general conversation. Last week one of the girls had mentioned her year 12 formal was coming up, so I asked if it had happened yet/if it was good...
Girl: "It's next week. But I've finished school now. I don't have any exams."
Me: "Thats pretty lucky." (I'm thinking maybe her choice of subjects meant maybe she didn't have any final exams...?)
Girl: "Yeah ... My mum died a few weeks ago. I'm like 'Bonus!'"
Me: "errrr"

Pop Quiz!

2006-10-26T16:36:00.000+09:30

My Dad and I had a good laugh over a take home test we found of my 16-year-old brothers.

It was one of those reading comprehension things on the Australian Constitution, and how Australia began and all that. It had half a page of info to read, then ten questions.

The questions, my brothers answers, and the real answers (which could be found written in bold in the few paragraphs my brother couldn't be arsed reading):

1. Give two reasons why some colonies feared federation.
1. Becuse colonies were afraid of federation (small colonies feared losing power)
2. And they didn't want to die (some regarded themself as British, not Australian)

2. In which year was a referendum held to decide the constitution?
1962 (1899)

3. On what date did Australia come into existence?
1976 (1 Jan 1901)

4. What sort of monarchy does Australia have?
What is a monarchy? (Constitutional Monarchy)

5. How many items are listed in section 51 of the Australian Constitution?
51 (39)

6. How many referenda were held betwenn 1911 and 1926?
26 (12)

7. How many referenda were held between 1984 and 1999?
23 25 (8)

8. What referendum was passed in 1967?
23 (To provide aborigines with equal citizenship rights)

9. Which court interprets the Federal Constitution?
State Court (High Court of Australia)

10. Which state fought the 'Dams' case?
Adelaide? (Tasmania)

I'm so not cool

2006-10-17T15:41:00.000+09:30

I went out last Thursday night to farewell 2 of our managers at work. Ended up getting just a liiiiitle bit drunk.

Anyway, the next day I went into work and was out the back talking with some other people that were there the night before, and told them how someone must've spilt nearly half a can of Pulse down me, cos it was on my jeans and thru onto my leg.

Just as I was saying this, a just-turned-16-year-old who we work with comes in and says "Oh my God, as if you drink Pulse. It was cool when it first came out but now I'm like, whatever. I'm over it."

Silly Sausage

2006-10-10T14:51:00.000+09:30

My sister and mum went to a BBQ recently and came home with some left overs they were given, including 6 sausages.

My 16 [sixteen] year old brother (who kind talks like Napolean Dynamite, but not cool, and more aggressive) comes to my Dad later that night and asks if he can have one of the sausage rolls in the fridge...
Dad: "It's pretty late, why don't you just have one of those sausages?"
Bro: "I already ate them all."
D: "All of them?"
B: "Yeah."
D: "Are you sure, cos I swear I only just saw them a couple of minutes ago."
B: "No, I ate them all, der!"
D: "Go check in the fridge."
B: "You mean freezer ..."
D: "No, Go check in the fridge."
B: "You mean freezer, idiot..."
D: "No, f-r-i-d-g-e."
So he went and checked, comes back and says there are none.

Later Dad goes to the fridge, and sees the sausages my brother says he ate.
D: "What do you call these? There are sausages in here."
B: "Ugh, der Dad. I told you, from the freezer!"
D: "You ate the sausages from the freezer? Did you cook them?"
B: "NO! Ugh! I microwaved them for 2 minutes! Leave me alone!"

He took four frozen raw sausages from the freezer, microwaved them for 2 minutes, and ate them, without realising they weren't actually cooked.

My dad is crazy

2006-10-06T11:49:00.000+09:30

~ The other day in the chemist I used a little chart thing to calculate my BMI or whatever it is. The stupid chart said that I was overweight! Then I did my Dad (my Dad looks like he's pregnant. Seriously.) and it said that he was obese. He denied it, and the pharmicist said the chart was only a guide, and not to worry.
So this morning Dad tells me that he went to the doctor and the doctor told him he is underweight. This is the same doctor that tells Dad the best way to help his heart disease is to not exercise, keep smoking, and continue eating shit all day long.
Anyway we got into this massive argument where Dad ended up calling me fat, and continually claiming he's "desperately underweight". (Please, people who have seen my Dad I welcome your comments. Back me up here.)

~ My sisters phone was playing up so Dad tried getting me to fix it (God knows why), and tells me to read her messages. At first I was appalled at him being so intrusive, but I did it anyway. And one message sent from my sister was: "Hey, wher r u? Were waggin skool. hury up".
Dad says: "Aw, she's wagging?? She's growing up!"
What the freakin hell? I would got my butt kicked if I was caught skipping school!

It's assignment time ....

2006-10-03T18:10:00.000+09:30

So, obviously, time to use the uni computers to procrastinate :)

I was checking out someones My Space today, and decided to do a high school search to see if anyone I went to school with has one.

Anyway, I come across stuff like this in peoples profiles:

"he may mean nutthin 2 u.. buh hez duh shyt 2 me..diz wunz myn bitchez FALL BACC !!"
and
"liv yo mak beetch"
and
"i lik da wai he duz dat rite thurr!!!"
and
"i iz bein doun on da shiz fa yal beetch!"
and
"OMG dat brozza is da uber"

Do these things make sense to anyone?

WHAAAAT?

2006-09-30T17:18:00.001+09:30

I was watching the last half of the Grand Final today after work in the crew room, and another girl walked in.
She asked me who i was going for and i said West Coast. She then asks "which ones are they? The blue or the red?". Oh. My. God.

Then after West Coast win, she asked why they're so happy, and why the red team is so sad. When i tell her its the grand final she says "oh, is that like the last game of the year or something? Whats the big deal?".
Oh. My. God.

What an annoying dick

2006-09-26T14:34:00.000+09:30

There's been a friend of a friend that I've encountered 3 or 4 times in the last few weeks, and I really think I don't like him. All I've ever seen him do is pay people out. E.g. The first time we met, he called me a retard and teased how my name is spelt.

On the weekend I went to a party that he was at, and he somehow found out my full name. After about 5 minutes of him laughing hysterically, I asked him what was so funny.
"Animal, vegetable, mineral! Bahahahahahaha!"
Me: "What?"
"What were your parents thinking!!? What a stupid name! bahahahahaha"
Krystle = mineral, Jasmine = vegetable, and my last name [which I wont say], can be connected to an insect, therefore animal.

I found it interesting that someone would even think of that, let alone find it funny for so long, and went "oh, yeah, I guess." Gave a little chuckle, and smiled.

He goes: "Bahahahahahahahaha ... hahaha hahahahaha! hahahaha! Your parents! What were they on??! What losers!!" And proceeded to run around telling everyone how stupid my name was.

GR!

My New Top

2006-09-14T11:39:00.000+09:30

I bought a new top a few weeks ago, and have since worn it twice. It's one of those baby doll type tops, that kinda just flows out under your chest.

The first time, last Saturday night, I got two comments:
"That's an interesting top, Krystle." [interesting is French for ugly], and,
"Wow, it's very .. hearty." [it has hearts on it].

Then I wore it again today, and get asked on the bus by some older woman when my baby is due and aren't I a bit young to be pregnant?

I am never wearing this again.

Yes, I have a sister!

2006-09-07T15:18:00.000+09:30

Yesterday 4 of my friends were shocked to hear I have a sister. Not "Oh, you have a sister? Didn't know that." But... "You have a SISTER??! WOW! I didn't know you had a SISTER!!". It's not that amazing.

Anyway, she's 14, and came home early from school yesterday cos she was sick. She was laying on the couch and I asked her "So, what's wrong with you?".
She replies, in her high pitched squeal that she always talks with: "Nuff-ing."
I say: "Well what are you doing home from school then, slacker?"
Sister: "Oh! I fought you meant pshycho-logicalaly."

This would be cuter if she wasn't so old.

Not Again!

2006-08-31T13:58:00.000+09:30

Firstly, how weird is Tyra Banks? I was channel flicking this morning, and stopped on her show (as I sometimes do) and it was another one of those episodes where she shows veiwers how she saves money.
She showed us how if you put popcorn in a bag with some cinnamon and heated honey and "shake it up, shake it up, shake it up" (while trying to dance like Beyonce), you get caramel-corn for less than a dollar.
But the weirdest bit was when she got a can of whipped cream, shot it straight into her mouth til it was pouring out everywhere, then SPAT IT BACK INTO HER HAND, and explained that this way, you can eat away, bit by bit for 20 minutes while watching a movie. What the hell?

Anyway, to the main topic for my post. I was, yet again, stopped by freaks while walking home.
I have drawn a diagram (shut up. It was either the diagram or something productive).

Where I live. Please don't follow me home.

The yellow asterix is my bus stop, the pink one is where I live. And the red dots is the path the car full of young hooligans took.
Where they left from is this block of units, and as I walked past I saw a bunch of people standing around a car, drinking and yelling and all that. So when I get to kinda where the dots turn orange on my fantabulous diagram, I hear a car screaching around the corner from the main road, when they get to me (at the orange dots) they slow down super slow, and yell something I can't understand from the car. I was nearly home so I discreetly shat myself and continued on my way. Then they sped up again, went around the round about and came down my street (by this time I was just about at my drive way) and they stop (driver with beer in hand) and the passenger says "You alright love?" Me: "Yeah. Thanks." Bogan: "Just saw ya walking down the main road, and was worried a young girl like yourself shouldn't be walking alone. Need a lift?" Me: "No, I'm home, thanks." Bogan: "Ya sure? We can take ya somewhere...safe." [laughing coming from car].

:(

Time to take my email address off my profile page? I think so!

2006-08-29T12:12:00.000+09:30

Instead of leaving comments here, people seem to prefer to email me them, along with weird offers of friendship... "We should be mates!"

Anyway...
Dad was having a whinge to me about the water bill, saying about how much water we're being charged for - every company we're with for gas/electricity or water always seems to double our usage on the bill (according to Dad everything's a conspiracy) - so waving the bill around in front of me, Dad says:

"Look here, we did not use that many kilojoules of water!"

Shudder

2006-08-24T14:42:00.000+09:30

Cos my phone is a piece of shite, Three told me I had to take it to some dodgy place to get "fixed", two buses away.

Two days later I went back after they called me to collect it, the dodgy place had erased all of my messages, pictures and all that and gave me a looooooong lecture about how I'm ruining the battery life (they even gave me a page of notes - a whole page - on things I need to do better) ... then I get home, and notice the same problem is still there! And my pretty pink phone has some new silver scratches.

So I went back into Three, and they said it'd be best if I gave it to them to send away for four to six weeks, and I'd get a free loan phone.

Once I'd figured out how to use the loan phone, I found that it came with 30 messages from some weird chick that likes to eat steak ("Wanna grab steak 2nyt?" ... "Just had a gr8 tbone 4 dina..." ... "Rst veg lasange? wat? u shoulda got da steak!").

The phone also came with a picture message of the ugliest man I have ever seen in my entire life, laying in bed, giving a huge, crazy, I'm-a-serial-killer smile. Thank god for the blanket that comes up to his chest, cos I think he was naked.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Eek

2006-08-22T13:55:00.000+09:30

I was in my bathroom the other day straightening my hair, when my sister walked in to wash her hands, saw I was occupying the sink area, and walked out.
Later in the family room I said to her that she could have used the sink, I was just straightening my hair.
She just gave me a blank look. I said "You know, about 10 minutes ago you came in the bathroom then left again?"
My sister says: "Oh, that was you? I thought you were dad."
Me: "What?? You thought I was Dad?"
Mum jumps in with: "Oh, Ebony! Ha! Maybe if Dad dyes his hair...", in a completely serious tone.

Give me time, and I bet I could come up with no less than a thousand ways in which my father and I differ in appearance (well I'd like to hope so).

For those who do not know what Dad looks like ... Think Robert DiPierdomenico (that AFL dude 'Dipper'), Chopper Reid and Merve Hughes' love child, with the hair of Billy Ray Cyrus.

Ungrateful Twat!

2006-08-17T12:18:00.000+09:30

I'm pretty sick at the moment. Monday night I was getting a sore throat, Tuesday morning that had progressed into a sniffle and sore-r throat, Wednesday morning my sinuses and head were killing me, and this morning I woke up without my voice, and mysteriously had a limp.
So dragging my arse to Uni on the bus, a guy got off a few stops before where I normally do, and I noticed he left his bag behind. I tried getting his attention by calling to him, with some 'excuse me's, but since my voice is still scratchy, he didn't hear.
So I decide to do the right thing and get off the bus and take his bag to him. Limping along (I seriously have no idea how it happened) trying to catch up to this guy who I suspect could have been a 'walker' in the Olympics, sniffling, coughing, saying "Excuse me... excuse me. .. excuse me!" in a strained yell, walking in the opposite direction from where I need to go... he finally turns around, "You left your bag on the bus ... here you go...", Says Krystle.

Now, I know that he doesn't know I am dying of a cold, or that I have a limp, or that I got off 3 stops early ... but, what does he say?

"Oh." Takes his bag, turns around and walks off.

"This isn't Hungry Jacks? Weirrrd!"

2006-08-10T11:07:00.000+09:30

Last night I caught the bus home from the city just before midnight, getting home a little after midnight. To get home from the bus stop it's like a 3 minute walk (100m down the main road, then down a side street for 2 blocks, then into another street [mine]).
I was the only person to get off the bus at my stop, and once I turned into the side street I heard someone whistle (it was like the whistle you do to call an animal), I turned around but didn't see anyone. I heard it again, turned around, and saw a shadow of a guy standing there. As soon as I turned around again he started walking again, and doing the whistle ... I turned around again, and he stoppped again, just standing there! Hello, Freak? Just cos your standing still doesn't mean I can't see you!

So I decided to call my Dad, but his mobile was off. I kept walking and he kept whistling, so I called the home phone and got my scary looking father to come meet me at the corner (I woke him up, which he wasn't impressed by.)
So I get to my drive way, and Dad is there waiting (I get daggers, cos I had to drag him out of bed), I explain that I was a little freaked out, but it was probably nothing.
Then freaky guy comes stumbling around the corner into my little street saying "Hey, where'd ya go, love...", then Dad steps out and gives him daggers, and Freak begins to look lost, says "Is this how I get to Hungry Jacks?".
Dad: "No."
"Oh, this isn't Gepps Cross?"
Dad: "No."
"Oh. Weird! Must have the wrong directions .... Um, bye!"
And turned around back to where we'd come from.
I dunno how he expected to find Hungry Jacks by turning down random back streets in a completely different suburb!
I recognised the guy from sitting behind me on the bus on the way home. I felt like he was watching me, and when I looked in the window reflection I saw him looking over my shoulder looking at the messages I had received/was writing.

This pushes back moving out by like a hundred years!

Bat-Eating Caterpillar?

2006-08-08T14:56:00.000+09:30

That title brought to you by someone in Finland who came to my blog by searching bat-eating caterpillar. Eh?

I was in Melbourne from last Thursday morning to Monday afternoon. It was pretty fun. I:
~ Went to the markets and bought a cute bag, cheapo sunnies that I expect will break in 2 weeks, and yummo strawberry fudge.
~ Went to the zoo and saw an elephant
~ Went to the aquarium and now think sting-rays are the cutest kind of water creatures.
~ Went shopping.
~ Went to Crown casino and got into an argument with some guy who said Adelaide is just a "very small country town" (this is what my Dad [who's from Melbourne] calls Adelaide. He compares it to Geelong and we have been known to have several arguments over it). I'll settle for small city, but Adelaide isn't a very small country-freakin-town! Aaaaanyway ...
~ Also at Crown got told I've got a "top rack" by a 40+ year old man. A compliment's a compliment, I guess.
~ Went shopping.
~ Went to Luna Park, but didn't do anything there.
~ Dinner with the relatives - it's always fun to see an aunty get drunk.
~ Went shopping.

All in all a good weekend. Now muchly behind in uni work though.

Does it really matter?!

2006-08-02T11:23:00.000+09:30

Dad came to me this morning and said:

"I've been meaning to tell you, Krystle .. The new White Pages came the other day, and I looked us up to see if everything was alright ... and they left out your mothers initials, and put a "Mr" in front of mine. They've never done that before."
Me: "That's weird. Why would they take mum off?"
Dad: "Mm.. But why would they put Mr in front of my initials?"
Me: "Cos you're a Mr?"
Dad: "I looked through about 50 or so other pages, and no one else has it..."
Me: "Uh-huh. Strange."
Dad: "But why is it like that??"
Me: "I really don't know, sorry ..."
Dad: "I mean, there is another person with our surname that has my initials, maybe it's a woman, and they want to distinguish ... you reckon?"
Me: "Yeah, maybe."
Dad: "But they've never done it before ..."
Me: "Yeah, you mentioned. It's probably just a mistake."
Dad: "But what else could it be?"
Me: "Dad, I really don't know..."
Dad: "Here, come with me, I'll show you."
Me: "I really have to get to ....."
Dad: "See, 'MR'... why?"

FIFTEEN minutes of this later, I was finally allowed to leave and go to work.

Nothing.

2006-07-31T14:38:00.000+09:30

The other day between Uni and work I went to buy a magazine to read. I ended up with "Famous", that celebrity tabloidy type one... reading the Life Coach section, where people write in with issues for a panel of experts to guide them. I think there was one asking about fashion, and another about exercise, and one that said something like: "I have just been diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. What can I do to control it?"
Um ... talk to your bloody doctor, not a magazine that writes about Jessica Simpson being the new slut of Hollywood maybe?

A post about my Dad (not Grzby)

2006-07-30T13:06:00.000+09:30

I am quite an anti-smoking person, something that annoys my Dad (as he is a smoker) very much. Dad is one of those smokers who believe they should be allowed to smoke anywhere, anytime because it's their right. I say the it's my right to not be subjected to smokers everywhere around me polluting my already polluted air.
It's caused many an argument.
So the other day Dad comes to me:
"Krystle, I saw something on a documentary the other day, and it was saying how passive smoking isn't harmful at all, and the only reason they have banned smoking in the workplace was to increase productivity. Even the anti-smokng experts admit it's not harmful. It's all about company's wanting money." [Wasn't smoking in offices banned like a gazillion years ago, anyway?]
Me: "So, you're saying there are studies to say passive smoking isn't the slightest bit harmful?"
"Yep. Not at all harmful. Only about 12 out of a million people die from something related to passive smoking."
Me: "Oh well. at least the companies are helping their employees health, as well as increasing prosuctivity. It's win win."
"What? No, you don't understand. It's not harmful, their just thinking of themselves. Bloddy corporations and their bloody money ...."
Me: "No... their stopping people from smoking as much as they normally would, and hence they'll be slightly healthier."

Dad couldn't fight this, so he left. But how can he justify something that only kills 12 people in every million as not being harmful? My Grandmother died of a type of cancer that has only been known to exist in 6 people in the entire world ... so by his logic, that cancer is not harmful (I wish I coulda said that, but I may not have a home now if I had've.)

"Well, think of it this way ..."

2006-07-25T13:56:00.000+09:30

~ I just had my first lecture for Statistical Analysis in Business today, and the lecturer is obsessed with football. Nearly every example she gave, she'd follow up with a 'relatable' example to do with AFL. Half of it was just a waste of time. I reckon she woulda said "Well, think of it this way, you have a Port Adelaide player ...." at least 8 times in the hour.

~ Not as weird as the one on www.blandcayon.blogspot.com, but what is the sudden obsession with protruding hip bones? And who's searching Samadoochi?

~ On Saturday night I went to Isobar... That place has changed so much since I went there last, which was probably about a year and a half ago (first (and only) time I tried chartreuse - "Don't worry, Krystle, it's milder than tequila"...). Anyway, now it's more clubby. I didn't think it was the same place, apart from those bloody stairs leading to the toilets.. I swear they are some sort of hazard, I have slipped on them a thousand times. The highlight of the night there was getting let in for free, cos me and my friend are "beautiful". Ha! :P

Oooookay...

2006-07-20T12:41:00.000+09:30

I was flicking through the channels last night and stopped on a show on Channel 9 about guys that are attracted to women who are amputees (they are called "devotees", and (having missed the beginning of the show, I'm not 100% sure, but ...) there's this woman that arranges parties for amputee women, and their non-amputee admirers, where they're "not expected to do anything in exchange for the gifts they receive from the devotees" [or something like that]. Hmm....) Anyway, apparently it's a huge craze on the internet and all that.
What I thought was funny though, was when they asked a 'devotee' when/how his attraction formed...
"Well, it really began when I was a teenager. You know, I would wonder about sex and think, 'But where do the legs go? Don't they get in the way?' ... it stemmed from that." Huh?

The second half of the show was about men that like 'BBW' (Big Beautiful Women) for their 'BBB' (Boobs, Bums and Bellies), and there was a woman (pretty big) who gets paid $200 (American) to 'squash' people. She basically sits on them for as long as they want to take it.

Whaaaat?

I have a song stuck in my head.

2006-07-17T11:31:00.000+09:30

My brother and I share a wall between our rooms, and he plays the shittest music every night to fall asleep to. 3 nights ago he had one song on repeat for HOURS, and I've had it stuck in my head ever since.

And cos I don't know the words (kinda good) I just have:
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damn door, it's much better to face these kind of things ... something something something ... rationality."
going round and round and round and round in my head.

Argh!

Nothing Much

2006-07-13T13:11:00.000+09:30

I was going through my high school yearboks recently, and noticed a picture of a little waterfall I thought I recognised, so I read the accompanying article.

An excerpt of "Morialta Trip":
We were given a brief history lesson of the area, and were led up on the trail to the falls. On the way Christine talked about many of the plants and highlighted their importance to the Kaurna people. We also had the opportunity to taste a few.
Some students went exploring and fell in the creek where they found some yabbies, and were even swarmed by bees.

The afternoon ended with a BBQ lunch, before we came back to the school. A good time was had by all.

A good time was had by all? What about the poor buggers that were swarmed by bees?
And I find it interesting the way that they say the kids were 'even' swarmed by bees. As if it's some lucky privelage.

The post-drunk post, er, post.

2006-07-09T11:31:00.000+09:30

Went to town last night, and went to The Havelock (I'm sure I have spelt that wrong). I've never been there before. I quite liked it, the music was good, but the people were all a bit too pretty and snobby, I reckons.
We were only there for about an hour and half (they shut at like 12) and had 3 Jagerbombs and about many vodka rasberries. This guy was trying to score with my friend, and I benefitted from his quiet sidekick buying me drinks while his friend pissed off my friend. Everytime I got out my phone (a Motorola Razr or whatever they're called) he'd be like "Emo! Get it? Razar? Cos they cut themselves?? Hahahaha".. and I'd say "I actually know someone at my work who cuts herself. It's a serious problem. You shouldn't joke about it." That shut him up, and I got another free guilt drink.

I'm not often the receiving end of attention from normal guys, I usually just get the bus stop freaks, so I don't get any bad pick up lines. But Justin (or Jason, I can't remember), aged 26 who plays for West Adelaide, who attached himself to our group after we left gives me this one:
"You know, I'm at that age where, what's your name again?"
"Krystle"
"Yeah, Krystle, I'm at that age where I'm looking for a relationship, not just a root."
"Buuuuuuullshit!"
"I'm serious! Did I mention I play for West Adelaide? What's your name again?"
"Krystle."
"Oh, like from Big Brother!"
"Mmm."
"Except your not as pretty, and your tits aren't as big."
What does he do straight after saying that, you ask? Goes in for a kiss. What the fuck? Yeah, dickhead, INSULT me, that'll help you hook up. Retard.

On the Krystal from big brother thing. The four people that asked me my name last night all followed it up with, "Like from Big Brother? he he". You know, people, the name Krystle did exist before Big Brother.
I have a friend Katie, I bet she doesn't get that. And John (do you read this John?), he's got hair that's nearly as crazy as John from Big Brother, I bet he doesn't get asked if he turkey slapped camilla.

The obligatoritational drunk post

2006-07-08T21:56:00.000+09:30

Obligatoritational: totally a word.

Everyone seems to have a drunk post, so why shouldn't I?

Don't really know what to write about tho. Normally when I've been drinking I ramble crap (whats new) and get out my phone, showing all my pictures with a commentary. Lucky for you I'm not willing to upload all my photos onto here.

On that .... I read a post a bit back on www.blandcanyon.blogspot.com about some ungrateful whore who lost her phone, Petstarr returned it, but without thanks from the ungrateful whore. It got me thinking, what would a stranger learn about you if they found your phone and went thru all your pictures and videos and messages?
I have over 150 messages (I'm a hoarder), some of which I wouldn't want people reading. The photos (as previously mentioned) I'm ok with, and have deleted all videos, so nothing there. I would die if I lost my phone, though. It's pink :)

I was in Myer the other day in the chicks clothes section and this skinny mole (how do you spell mole? Is it moll? I'm gonna write mole) was standing with her boyfriend at a rack of shorts.
Converstaion:
Skinny Mole: All these are size 12 or 14, dammit!
Boyfriend: What are you?
SM: 8. 10 at the very worst.
Boyfriend: Bull shit (he was just teasing cos she was so skinny)
SM: Shut-UP! If I was a size 12 I wouldn't wear shorts like that.
Boyfriend: Why not?
SM: Uh, size 12! If I was size 12 I wouldn't want to show my fat arse off in those.

Man, I wanted to smack that stupid mole/moll across the head.

I think thats all. I'm taking my HUGE size 12 arse off to find some more drink.
Toodle-loo.

Woo! Go Italy

2006-07-07T14:37:00.000+09:30

'Twas only weeks ago I was cursing myself for wasting $5 and being stuck with Italy in the World Cup sweep at work.
They better win.

I went shopping the other day with the intention to buy:
~ One of the expandi-file thingos to keep bills and such.
~ Some sort of container to, erm, contain, all my hair accessories.
~ And new notebooks/folders for uni next semester.
With strict instruction from myself not to waste money on anything else.

I came away with (only):
~ Canvases and paints.
~ A toaster.
~ A skipping rope.

I think I have a problem.

On the skipping rope note: What does skipping do for you? Like, what parts of you does it make fit/look good (if any)? :)
The person I normally ask these types of questions has left the country. Coincidence? I think not.

I Am Not (continued...)

2006-07-04T12:53:00.000+09:30

Following from my "I am not Krystal from Big Brother" post, we now have ...

I am not: a dentist/dentist nurse/person who knows anything about teeth.

Last night at work (I work at a fast food place for those who don't know), a woman came up to the counter, opened her mouth, and shoved it up to my face, pointing at a tooth. She mummbled: "I chipped my tooth. It's really sharp; do you think they would be able to get it filed down tomorrow?"

Nothing much to say...

2006-07-03T14:09:00.000+09:30

Except my Dad has a hole in the coin pocket of his 'favourite' jeans, and mum has refused to sew it up ... How has he overcome this dilemma?
He's stuck it over with green electrical tape, of course. Isn't that how you repair your clothes? How embarrassments.

Back to the emailers asking for Krystle from Big Brother .. I told one frequent emailer to bugger off, and how the hell did she get the address cos others have been emailing too, and she said it was on some Big Brother fan club website.
Then she wrote again, and said:
"BTW. ask them if they watch big brother. then ask them who they go for."

Umm... No.

I am not Krystal from Big Brother

2006-06-27T15:40:00.000+09:30

I received 6 [six] emails last week from different people (and 3 from the one same person) asking if I am on Big Brother.
The person that wrote three times, started with an email asking if I have msn. I wrote back, "I use it sometimes. Who are you?"
Their second email said, "Are you on BB?", which I ignored. Few days later I get "Are you on Big Brother?"
Dumbass, I ask you: would I have written back to the first email if I was locked in a house flashing my big fake boobs around on the Gold Coast?

Some customers at work really shit me.
This annoying feral guy had to pay $3.90. So he threw a $2, three $1's, 50c, two 20c and four 10c out on the counter for me to take (rather than counting out the money himself). So I took the three $1 first ... he yells at me "No. Fuckin take the silver shit first." Me: "Well, it's $3.90, so I'll make up the 90c with the silver."
Feral: "You don't understand. I don't wanna carry around all this silver shit with me. What are you, stupid?"
So I put the $1s back to humour him, and started taking the silver. But apparently I took them in the wrong order and he got shitty again. So I said "If you're gonna be like this, why don't you give me the coins you want to get rid of. I'm not a mind reader."
So he called the manager over, and said he was gonna send in an official complaint (i'm not worried about it, cos he probably doesn't know how to write).

At the bus stop sunday night after work (bout 11pm) a drunk 19 year old guy named James started talking to me. After knowing me for about 15 minutes, he concluded I have no real passions, and was wah wah wahing on about how he hopes I find what I really want to get out of life (he got off at the same stop as me)... sat at the bus stop, then passed out on the seat.

Strange search referals this week: "My Husband doesn't call me anymore." and "Wedgies that hurt".

Hello Again

2006-06-24T13:08:00.000+09:30

Exam time sucks :(

Yesterday I was walking to the shops around the corner from my place yesterday when this feral kid who looked about 16 rode up on his bike alongside me. Our conversation was as follows....

Weird Boy: Hey. What's your name?
Me: Krystle
WB: How old are you?
Me: 20 ...
WB: That's about my age. You got a boyfriend?
Me: No.
WB: You know, last week I was talking to this girl, she looked like you and has the same name and age but I didn't get her number.
Me: Erm. Ok.
WB: So if you're single, and I'm single why don't I take you out?
Me: Nah, I'm right thanks.
WB: Why not?
Me: Do I need a reason?
WB: Yes.
Me: [I wish I'd come up with something good here, but just made up some shit excuse I can't remember]
This is when I turned to cross over a car park, and he kept going straight... He yells back to me:
WB: "I was just messin' with ya!"
Me: "Yeah."
WB: "You're not my type anyway."
Me: "Thanks."
WB: "Yeah, you're too old."
Me: "mmhm."
WB: "And I don't go for fat chicks."

That little arsehole!

I saw a bit of Oprah this morning on TV, where she announced she was going to get her ears peirced on TV. After 15 minutes of carrying on, she finally went through with it .. And then got a standing ovation.
I got my ears peirced when I was six, I didn't even get a lolly.

Why do I always get stuck sitting next to people that smell like pee on the bus?

About Dad - Again.

2006-06-08T12:45:00.000+09:30

Just got home the other night and plonked myself down on the couch in the lounge room, where Dad was flicking between Deal or No Deal and Family Feud (can you tell he likes TV?).
He was getting pissed off at Andrew O'Keefe, so turned it over to Family Feud for long enough to see the entire final segment where one of the question thingos was:
'Name an animal that might be found in a cage.'
The first guy said Tiger.
Then when his other team member came out she also said tiger (which got the "Bom Bom") so she said "uh, um... uh... Lion."
I said "Der. Birds. Why wouldn't you say bird?"

Dad: "Well, when you say 'name an animal that might be found in a cage', most people don't think of birds as an animal."

What? Well what the hell else is a bird?
Geez.

Maybe I should rethink my blog name ...

2006-06-06T14:31:00.000+09:30

To Annoying and Stupid Things My Dad Does.

We were watching Law and Order SVU on Sunday night where the story was about a 14 year old pregnant girl. She wanted an abortion but was unable to get one, so she started hitting herself, then got the father of the baby to hit her too. He hit her 20 times with a lamp (until it shattered) compared to her hitting herself 7 times.
The question on the show was whether or not they should be charged the same.
Dad thought: Yes. Because she asked him to hit her and he did it out of love. he should be acquitted, she should be found guilty.
I disagreed with his opinion, and said that if you love someone, you couldn't hit them 20 times with a freaking lamp, but left it at that.
Dad: "Nope. He did it out of love."

Monday night: Cold Case.
Some guy pushed a chick down some stairs and took her ring. When asked why he took the ring, he said because he was in love with her. Dad says "You could never physically harm someone you love."
I say: "What? But you said last night [what I just said]."
Dad: "I never said that."
Me: "But ...."
Dad: "Never said it."

Remember a few posts back I said about Pete the wheelchair guy that thinks he can do anything he wants? At about 5pm in the city on Friday night he drove off the footpath right infront of the (moving) bus I was on the corners of North Terrace and King William St. It seriously just missed him.

What the hell.

2006-06-01T16:11:00.000+09:30

I was in Toys R Us today and I saw a boardgame for ....
Rock Paper Scissors: $16.95.

What is the world coming to?

A few random things ...

2006-05-31T15:07:00.000+09:30

Man that Michael from Big Brother is a real tool. He was saying on Rove last night how he wasn't being himself in the house cos he was given the role of insider by Big Brother and that he wasn't given a chance once it was revealed, and so he was straight up for eviction the very next week. Der retard, just cos you had immunity from being nominated doesn't mean people didn't nominate you. I'm pretty sure there was at least once when he had enough points, but his immunity saved him. What a dick.

This girl in one of my tutes the other day was talking about 'football' (it's called soccer dammit) and how she can't wait to see Australia lose cos "you schkips* are all a bunch of cocky tossbags" who think their really good and are gonna win all the games or something. And she then started saying "the only people I hope they beat is Japan. Those fucking Asians."
She really gave me the shits. She's from Italian decent (correct term?), can you imagine if I went around saying to her "I really hope you wogs lose, you tossbags" (not my opinion, by the way).

We have this tree in our front yard which is more like an overgrown twig sticking out of the ground with a few leaves.
Dad said to me: "Oh, the tree has lost it's leaves. It must be dying."
Me: "No, it's Autumn."
Dad: "So?"
Me: "Trees lose their leaves in Autumn."
Dad: "What? No they don't. That's ridiculous."
Me: "Er, yeah. They do."
This continued for a little while with me giving up. How does a 55 year old man not know that tree's lose their leaves for winter?

*I dunno how to spell it.

"Teenagers! Glad I never was one."

2006-05-30T12:59:00.000+09:30

Woo-Hoo I'm officially not a teenager anymores..well not in the technical sense anyway....

At about 8pm last night I was at work talking with a friend about something and they said, "...Maybe when we finish our theses ...." (as in plural of thesis).

Me: "...'theses?' is that plural? It rhymes with faeces! I thought you said when you finish your faeces. Bahahahahahahaha .... oh. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Hehehe .. faeces."

I am ashamed.

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-24T15:24:00.000+09:30

Well, the title alone should get me some hits I think.

I saw briefly (I'm not all that interested) in the news a while ago about those dudes who said the guy who wrote The Da Vinci Code stole some ideas and stuff. I'm sure everyone knows, but here's a link for good measure.

But from the pictures I've seen on billboards/buses around town and the internet, I think we all know where Ron Howard has stolen ideas from ...

... .... ...

Well there we go, a very week attempt at humour through pictures.

I won't bother you again.

But first I leave you with today's weird google search that linked to here:

"jessemccartney pass and homework folder and a mouse"

Edit: I was just scrolling through my good old statcounter stats again and found I got a link from this site. Oh my oh my oh my. I had to hold in my giggles.

"Grrrrr Grrrr" ....

2006-05-23T17:18:00.000+09:30

I received a text message this morning from someone I consider to be a good friend, it read:

"Ah Krystle, happy birthday for yesterday! Its hard to believe that we are actually the same age now. Freaky!"

It wasn't my birthday yesterday.

I had a phone call from a private number today, it went:

"Grrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrr gr gr. *click*"

It was just a person saying "Gr".
Strange.

And that pretty much sums up my life right now.

Oh, and for the latest happenings in the UniSA Cuty West campus Computer Barn, please refer back to my post BEEP BEEP; different people, same scenario. What is it about a room full of computers and international students that makes people wanna start making public displays of affection?

A likely excuse.

2006-05-18T12:24:00.000+09:30

Last night I finished work at 11:30, and, as usual, caught the bus home. At about 12:10 I was heading from the bus stop to my house (about 2 blocks) down the not-so-well lit streets. This sometimes freaks me out cos I don't live in the best of suburbs (there was the time last year where a few girls were pulled into cars off the footpath [seperate occassions], and dumped in Elizabeth somewhere; there's the crazy long-haired guy two doors down that spends all day, everyday walking to and from the local shops wearing a big black woollen jumper, black pants and a black beanie, mummbling to himself; my neighbour convicted of murdering the two guys he was growing drugs with [well that was at the old place, but only the next suburb over]; the dude that followed my sister in his car, then tried to get her to get in; the crazy man at the bus stop that talks to himself; good old fungus feet lady [also at the bus stop]; freaks that like to hang out at the nearby cemetary at night; and there's a house around the corner that is empty, but things keep changing there. Hm...).
So anyway, 12:10am and I'm walking down the dark street when a dirty looking ute starts driving along side me. First thought: "Argh! Shit shit shit."
I keep walking, pretending not to notice, and he speeds up a bit and stops a few metres ahead. Second thought: "Argh! Shit shit shit."
I glanced over to the car and saw a middle aged scruffy man. I kept walking cos I was nearly home.. Then he drove up alongside of me again.
When I wouldn't come over this time he rolled down his window and said "I was just gonna ask for directions, ya fucking bitch!" and did a u-turn heading back to the main road.
Well excuuuuuse me if I tend to associate being stopped by a dirty man in a dirty car in dark streets at 1o past 12 with kidnapping serial killers! (well maybe not that extreme).

My Dad's angry at me cos he's had a bad cough for about the last year or so, and I've been bugging him to go to the doctor about it. He was finally going to the doctor for something else so I kept saying he should mention the cough. And he kept saying that he didn't want to. (I'll mention here that he's been a smoker for the last 40 years of his life). So he mentioned it to the doctor and the doctor is making him get a chest x-ray. Now Dad is worried he has lung cancer and it's my fault for making him go get it checked out.
Yeah, cos if you don't know you've got cancer ... that makes it go away!

I'm currently completing my Diploma in Stalking ...

2006-05-10T13:20:00.000+09:30

I noticed on Statcounter ....

I have had people come to my blog from the searches:

"XXL [my name] Brother"
"Big tits [my name] Big Brother"
"[My name] Big Brother 06 Breast implants"*

Hello people, it's spelt differently!

Other Big Brother related searches:
"half asian michael big brother australia"
"frysy big brother"

There was also:
A person in France searching "Picture guy in a wet wetsuit". Eh?
From Canada "Anti Hearing Deaf Jokes" - apart from the fact that it was in Canada, it coulda been my mum. (Have I previously mentioned that my mum is obsessed with sign language and would like to be deaf? Well if I haven't, that's why I say it could be her.)
Massachusetts, America: "I have protruding hip bones"

And to the person at Adelaide Uni at 9 am (ish) on the 9th of May - settle petal! Went a little crazy there didn't ya?? Get back to work and stop reading my entire history :)

Must be off. Assignments to stress over.

Edit: Last night (Tuesday night) THREE people went through my entire post history. One of them 33 mins, another 1 hour 16 mins and the last one TWO HOURS FORTY MINUTES. I can't believe I've found people that are better procrastinators than me.

* I say "[my name]" because I don't want to attract more of them

I Heart Mustard

2006-05-08T11:43:00.000+09:30

It is my new favourite condiment. Mm mm mm.

On Saturday at work:

- I was slightly hungover.
- I served about 20 New York Policemen all dressed up for the Police Tattoo thing. It was funny, cos there's these big tough New York accented blokes ordering "cawfee" dressed up in a fancy skirt and sash. They were all stacks nice and I was mesmorised by their accents. One of them ordered just over $20 worth of food, and was 20c short so he asked if he could remove his "soda" (he he - he called it soda.). So I did, but then I gave him the small Diet Coke anyway cos he was super nice, and a policeman and all that. He acted like I'd saved his life or something and was thanking me continuously. I felt quite good after that.
- There musta been a something on at the Convention Centre cos there was people dressed up as Star Trek people and stuff all over the place. One guy in a blue Star trek outfit got very angry at me cos we don't sell caramel thickshakes. I was shakin in my boots. "What? No caramel?? Ugh." then he wanted to know if there was anymore dining space, and I said 'No, if all the tables are full, that's it.' and he said: "What? No dining space?? Ugh." And I got looked at weirdly by some chick dressed as Padme Amedala. Mhm.
- I got into a fight with a customer... it went as follows:
I handed out his burger to him, and snatched it from me saying "I'd appreciate it if you didn't squash my burger!" I totally wasn't, but for the sake of this guys happiness I said "Oh, sorry. I didn't realise I was. I'll be more careful next time."
To this, he raised an eyebrow and said "Where's your manager??"
I went and got her and he complained. Then he asked for a formal complaint form (has anyone spotted what I did wrong??) and then asked me what my name was. I pointed to my badge, and he said "I said, 'What's your name??'...", he started writing it down, but spelt it wrong so I corrected him. He said "Don't patronize me!" I said: "Oh, no, I'm not. I just want you to get my name right. I wouldn't want the complaint to get mixed up or anything."
So he stormed off out of the store.
I turned around and walked a way a bit and mumbled to myself (quietly) "I wish I could fill out forms about customers."
Next thing I know ... "I HEARD THAT!!". Ah, shit.
So he got the manager again, and then as he was leaving told me I'll "regret the day I ever crossed him."
Uh-oh spaghetti o's.
I still don't know what I originally did wrong.

Customers can be so difficult!!!

BEEP BEEP!!!

2006-05-02T18:30:00.000+09:30

I'm in the computer barn at Uni (waiting before I go to my lecture) and there is a couple at the computer next to me that have been kissing for about 10 minutes now and it is annoying.
And when they aren't kissing the chick keeps talking in a baby voice, which he seems to find really attractive so they start kissing again!

Do they need to be infront of a computer for this?

I nearly got run down by a guy in a wheelchair today. I kinda know him, his name is Pete. He used to come into work and use the outlets to charge up his wheelchair everyday. I've seen him a few times outside work - others may have too, he's often speeding (well, as fast as you can go in a motorised wheelchair) down the middle of Hindley Street (sometimes King William) yelling BEEP BEEP!!

(ok, the guy is now making growling sounds at her.)

I was waiting for the lights to let me cross the road in town today and I heard Pete "beep beep"ing the crowd, so he could get through. He got to the back of the crowd and started yelling "You wouldn't do it to a car! Let me through BEEP BEEP!!". Then as I was walking down Hindley Street there was plenty of room on the footpath but he seemed to purposely swerve along the footpath so people would be in his way and he could yell at them (that's where I came in).

I heard at work that he went over to Sydney, where they obviously don't take that shit, and he was chased down the street by some young hoodlums. I guess he didn't learn his lesson.

(Uh oh, girl just tried typing guys password into the computer and it didn't work, and now girl's saying in a slightly raised voice, "Who is she? Who is SHE??")

TV is my new boyfriend.

2006-04-26T11:36:00.000+09:30

What's that I hear you say ... "You pathetic loser!".
I'm not denying that.

Some favourites at the moment are
Good Morning Miami - a romantic sitcom that I've become attached to.
Amish in the City - absolute crap, but I find it amusing to watch people freak out over parking meters. "What is it?? It's so ... strange..."
Friends - classic
Music MAX - Go the 80s and 90s music

And very much unfortunately: Big Brother. I hate it. But I like it. But mostly hate it.
Here's what I know about the housemates... (note that I had to get the names off the website. I don't actually know them - eep! then there'd really be something wrong.)
Anna: Annoying tart
Ashley: Used 6 words when asked to describe himself "in three words".
Camilla: Annoying tart
Claire: Blah.
David: Camilla's in love with him, but he's hiding he's gay. Killer smile.
Dino: I don't think I've even seen this guy yet.
Elise: Blah.
Gaelan: he he he GAElan.
Jamie: Buff.
John: Weird hair.
Karen: Hippie. Fake boobs.
Katie: "Moist people think 'Skank!' when they see me, but oim a laydee."
Krystal: Awesome name :). Fake boobs.
Michael: I can tell I'm not gonna like him.
Tilli: Weird hair. (story: Tilli was in my Media Studies tute last year at Uni. Big Brother was one of the things that we had to watch and discuss in class..And Tilli paid it out.)

In other news:
I keep seeing Freddie Prinze Jnr look a likes everywhere, (maybe it's just the same guy over
and over) whatever happened to him?

I nearly got run down by a rollerblader today.

Cough cough

2006-04-22T13:18:00.000+09:30

Have any other Adelaidians (spelling?) noticed the increased number of paint sniffing people walking around lately??
It all started about a month ago when a couple came into my work with their faces covered in silver paint,and the stench of their breath when they spoke was so strong I could hardly breathe .. Then a few days later, walking back from uni one night a whole group of em walked past, holding plastic bags up to their faces. Again, the smell was so strong I started to cough. And 2 more times last week, and once today, walking down Rundle Mall I've walked past guys with their jumpers over their faces, sniffing the paint as they walk along (I try to change my path, but it's too late and I get stuck with the stink again)...
Go lay in a gutter somewhere and stop poluting my air, arseholes!

krystlejasmine@gmail.com

2006-04-21T12:42:00.000+09:30

I checked my Gmail yesterday for the first time in about a week - I got someone to invite me (God knows why I wanted to be invited, he's the only person I know with a Gmail address, and we don't email, so I don't use it), so I've been using it as my "sign up" email address, to take all my junk.

Being one who will always go for some free stuff (free XXL St Patricks day t-shirt that says "Who's your paddy?" and a Nova t-shirt with a frog going "Woof" seem to be my only scores lately) I signed up for that Nova Club thingo with my Gmail address.

So, like I said, I checked it yesterday to find I won a double pass (and another bloody t-shirt!) to the Panthers v Storm (whoever they are) Rugby game on last Saturday. Damn it. Yet again I am stuck with an ugly oversized shirt.

Hm ...

2006-04-18T11:03:00.000+09:30

Things haven't quite gone as planned the last week-ish. It's holidays and I was planning to get a head start on some uni work so I wouldn't be swamped with last minute assignments, but instead I have found myself doing nothing. Nothing at all.
Ok, here's something that happened at work:

My brother also works there (he's 15 and pretty stoopid), and he talks to another guy (19) there a fair bit about TV shows like Lost and stuff. My brother had sent this guy an sms about nothing in particular to which he got the reply: "Leave me alone, I'm shaving my nuts." - this response was very much in character of the guy. So, my brother didn't write back.
Then two days later my brother went in to check his roster and stuff, and the other guy was serving customers, and it was very busy. My brother, standing on front counter, with headphones in his ears and his iPod on too loud, says [unintentionally shouts] "Hey! Were you really shaving your nuts the other day!!??".

Oooh I wish I was there.

Ok, people, I have a statcounter, I know you're here (and coming back!) ... leave some freakin comments already.

That's so puff

2006-04-12T11:26:00.000+09:30

Gr Dominos ... Gr.

Was staying at a friends place over the weekend, and on Sunday night went to the "Coopers Lager Lads" party that Nova was holding (not sure why it was the "lager lads" party cos, there were more chicks there than guys), cos my friend had won tickets. Fitzy or Frysy, or whatever his name was, from Big Brother was the MC guy, and he's a dick, me thinks. There was also a crap comedian who liked to make jokes about how he's Asian (he's half Asian), and they weren't even funny. One went something like:

"So you know how Asians like to eat dogs? Ha ha ha yeah.... well a dog is not just for Christmas the ads would always say ... and my Dad would say [he put on a chinese accent] "Ah, yhes ... that is true. If you cook it properly it lasts til new years ..." ha ha ha, so yeah ... I got a dog one year and my Dad went to it, and pointed up to the ceiling and said "Tell me what that is, dog." and the dog, being a dog would go "Roof!", so Dad would say "No, stupid dog, what is it?!" [this was repeated about 6 too many times]... then Dad would say "Stupid dog, I eat you!" ha ha ha aha hahahahahha!"

So anyway, drinks kept coming, I won a t-shirt by losing a thumb war fight (i think the guy felt sorry for me, the fight didn't even last 5 seconds). Got one of those bogan cooper hats and a bottle opener. Stole a few of the decorations that were about the place (dunno who was on the decoration committee ... there was footy socks, golf balls/tees and stuff like that everywhere). And it was all over by 9! Pft.

There's a whole second part to this post, about Dominos and their suckiness (hence the "puff" title - and by the way, how shit is that ad?) but I can't be bothered right now. :(
Stay tuned - cos I know you're all just dying to know.

0 people love me in my pants

2006-03-31T13:12:00.000+10:30

I worry that my shuffle will sabotage me by revealing all the geeky songs I have ...

Put your whole playlist on shuffle. Take the first 20 songs and add “in my pants” to the end of the song title. (As seen on Rev Tim's blog)

1. Lay your hands on me in my pants (Bon Jovi)
2. Run to paradise in my pants (Chiorboys)
3. Footloose in my pants
4. Beat it in my pants (Michael Jackson)
5. Aliens exist in my pants (Blink 182)
6. Smile like you mean it in my pants (The Killers)
7. You are not alone in my pants (Michael Jackson)
8. Freak in my pants (silverchair)
9.With or without you in my pants (U2)
10. Always in my pants (Bon Jovi)
11. All the small things in my pants (Blink 182)
12. Cigarettes will kill you in my pants (Ben Lee)
13. Andy you're a star in my pants (The Killers)
14. Unchained melody in my pants
15. Lost without you in my pants (Delta Goodrem)
16. I wish somebody would build a bridge (so I can get over myself) in my pants (Thirsty Merc)
17. Israel's son in my pants (silverchair)
18. You rock my world in my pants (Michael Jackson)
19. A minute without you in my pants (Hanson)
20. Where's your head at? In my pants (Basement Jaxx)

... And 21 was ... The way you make me feel in my pants (Michael Jackson) (couldn't leave that one out)

I only have 170 songs on there at the moment so there's a few repeat artists.

I will not mention the book.

2006-03-30T13:13:00.000+10:30

I bought this a little while ago...

Awww ain't it cute?

... for someone I know that is graduating.

This morning I noticed it says on the back:

"Please remove all tags and packaging before giving to a child under 3 years."

Phew - lucky the person I'm giving it to is 4.

On Saturday night I went to a 21st at the Alma. I had never been there before, but heard it was good, and I think I quite like it. After the 21st we went down stairs, where I was introduced to Jagerbombs. I use plural here because I had 3 of them in about 15 mins - after that I couldn't stop talking til about 6 am when I got home (probably cos there was no one [awake] to talk to). Even the taxi driver got an earful of me babbling crap, when normally I'm quiet and let them talk. And I didn't even have a hangover after God knows how many glasses of champagne that night.

It was a good night.

I have read about an "in my pants" thing on Reverend Timothy's (->) blog - I will do this next time I have my iPod with me.

Nicole Richie post #3 (and I think there will be more to come, sorry!)

2006-03-28T16:42:00.000+10:30

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to copy words straight out of Nicole Richies book anymore (I thought if I reference, it'd be ok, but I've been advised against it) ... but go to your local book shop, turn to page 48 and read the third paragraph down ...
It talks about being allergic to anything 'unpretty' - I don't know if this girl is serious!
Why can't I stop reading this book?

A phone just went off in this computer room - it was the original Crazy Frog ringtone. I couldn't believe it when I heard it.

The guy at the computer next to me just stopped me from what I was doing to show me a website that talked about Prince Charles ("The Queen's husband" as the Indian man put it) going to Panja (or somewhere like that) in India, and visited the Premier. I don't know what made him think I would be interested, and I didn't quite know how to react so just said, "Oh ... yeah. Cool...", which wasn't good enough for him so he just repeated word for word what he'd just said to me until I acted a little more excited.

Read PetStarr's blog (particularly the post about DC wearing Hip-Hoppers - it cracked me up). Link is that way ->

I don't like you

2006-03-24T12:02:00.000+10:30

If you are the type of person who could place yourself in the position of 'Student' in the following scenario, you will have to try extra hard for me to like you.

Tutor: (using the alphabet as an example to make a point about databases - the topic of the tutorial was not actually the alphabet.) "How many letters are in the alphabet?"
Student: "It depends what alphabet, siiiir... he he he he *snort snort*"

Oh puh-lease.

Oh, and an update of the latest (remember ... fictional) character to pop up in Nicole Richie's book: Simone.
Simone is "famous for being famous", likes to make sex tapes, and misplaced her phone, resulting in celebrities phone numbers being posted on the internet and everyone in Hollywood to recieving prank phone calls. Hm ...

I'm Reading a Book.

2006-03-22T12:03:00.000+10:30

It's The Truth about Diamonds, by Nicole Richie.
I really shouldn't be reading it, because:
a) I have 2 assignments due, and a test within the next 7 days
b) I'm not quite grasping the concept of accrued and deffered assets and liabilities (hopefully it won't be in the test)
and last, but certainly not least ...
c) because it is by Nicole Richie.

Seriously, whoever thought this person would write a book? Whoever thought she could write? (I've seen The Simple Life)
I've flicked through Paris Hiltons books in Borders before, and I can definately say I think she wrote for herself ...
“One of my heroes is Barbie. She may not do anything, but she always looks amazing doing it.” (Hilton pp111)
“If you can’t wear heels, wear a mini. Otherwise, your legs will look like little stumps. That is so not hot.” (Hilton pp66)
“Don’t talk about politics with cute guys. It will limit your dating opportunities.” (Hilton pp155)
and the best one ...
“If you can’t think of what to say when someone asks your opinion, say one of two things: 1. ‘Cute!’ or 2. ‘Loves it!' ” (Hilton pp109)

... inspirational.
Anyway ... I really didn't think Nicole Richie could write a book, so I bought it (hm ... maybe that was their plan all along. They made $20 outta me).
I'm only two chapters in, but so far it's about ... wait, first, let me make it clear it is not an autobiography. It says so in the intro, and inside the front cover, where it says the usual "This book is a work of fiction ... Any resemblance is entirely coincidental..." ... So, it's about a girl name Chloe. 'Chloe' was adopted by a big record producer when she was little. She grew up going to clubs lots and got addicted to heroin, where there's 'DJ Ray' (a DJ that used to be fat but has got skinny ... gee, I wonder if they get engaged!? And 'Chloe' loses a stack of weight, maybe?)

Hilton, Paris. Your Heiress Diary: Confess It All to Me, Random House, New York, 2005

To be sure, to be sure

2006-03-20T16:47:00.000+10:30

On St Pats day, I think I proved my Irishness.

A friend told the joke:
"Have you heard of the Irish tap dancer? He fell in the sink."
While others laughed, I looked a little confused, and said "Eh ... I don't ... OH! Was he a leprachaun?"
Then it registered.
Sometimes I wish I thought for just a few more seconds before I open my mouth.

Time to get my license. And a car.

2006-03-16T12:32:00.000+10:30

There's a lot of African people moving into our suburb over the last year or so (I don't know specifically what countries, so I will just say African). Firstly, I will say I have nothing against African people, and the following comments are just a general observation.

I have been hit on at bus stops by 5 African people in the last few months, I have noticed that all of them were very pushy and forward. Today, for example:
I went and sat at the bus stop, where I was listening to my iPod. There was an African young-ish guy sitting at the other end of the seat, and he tried to get my attention but I didn't hear him, so he slid over right next to me, and tapped my leg to get me to turn the music off.
He said: "hello. Where do you live?"
Me: "Oh, down that way" (pointing in a no particular direction)
Him: "What's your adress? I will come and see you."
Me: "Oh, no thanks" (weak response, but I didn't know what to say)
Him: "I live this way, do you want to come to my house? Now?"
"No, I'm right thanks."
"What are you doing tonight?"
"I'm busy."
"Doing what?"
"Oh, I'm going out with my boyfriend..."
"Ok. What are you doing tomorrow night? Do you want me to come around. You can come to my house ..." (putting his hand on my leg)
"No, I'm not interested." (pushing his hand off my leg)
"What are you doing Saturday? or Sunday night."
Did I miss the part where I was encouraging this?? Maybe it's a culture thing, cos I would've thought I was putting the point across.
And all the other times have been similar - they have just persisted and persisted and persisted, it always makes me feel uncomfortable.

When in Rome

2006-03-14T16:53:00.000+10:30

One of my tutors said today ...

"You know, when you are living or staying in that place ... Rome, er, in Italy ... You have to do the things the way that they do things, isn't it?"

Hm ... Don't believe I've heard that one before.

Also, I think that Australia is out of $20 notes. 4 ATMs that I've been to this week have been out of $20 notes, meaning I have to take out $50, and then I have to spend it.

Childhood Memory #284

2006-03-09T11:48:00.000+10:30

One Christmas I got a Monopoly boardgame from Santa. When I came to unwrap all the bits and pieces, I had trouble with how to open the various decks of cards, so I asked Dad to help me.
He said annoyed that he had to go to the effort: "Hmph. Obviously never unwrapped a pack of cigerettes before!!"
Yes, that would be becuase I'm 8, Dad.

Isn't it, hey? Isn't it, hey? ISN'T IT!!?

2006-03-07T18:50:00.000+10:30

It seems my Accounting, Decisions and Accountability (or something) tutor-lady needs to say "Isn't it, hey?" as much as she possibly can in one day to avoid exploding.
It is at the end of every sentence, isn't it, hey?
And sometimes in the middle of sentences, isn't it, hey?
Sometimes "hey" is replaced with "eh?", but it's really damn annoying, isn't it, eh?

And she also has a habit of saying after explaining something "For example ... you (points to random person). You might ... well, I don't know. You get the point, isn't it, hey?"

We just got a letter ... we just got a letter ... I wonder who it's from!

2006-03-03T13:27:00.000+10:30

My Dad has an obsession with wanting to open any mail that comes to our house addressed to me.
It began at the end of year 12 (take 1), I had already decided that I would be going back to redo some of my subjects (I'm a slacker) so my results really weren't of much importance as I wasn't getting a TER score or anything. But Dad did the whole "Do you want me to open it for you? Will you be ok?" supportive thing. And I casually said "No, it's ok, I'm fine.", he was standing over me asking "Are you sure, are you sure?" as I was opening it.

This happened again in Year 12 (take 2), and since then if I'm not at home and I get a letter, Dad will ring me and describe the envelope, try and guess who it's from, feel the envelope to see if there's any cards (birthday/invites/bank card) inside and describe this to me, and ask me if he wants me to open it. I'm gonna be home in, like, 2 hours - I think it will be ok until then! It's really annoying.

In my Management Communication in Business class there is two mature age female students - can anyone say bogan? One of them in like an overweight Kath from Kath and Kim, and the other reminds me of my friends mum (also overweight) who tries to be "in" with the group (she actually came out with our group one night to the London Tavern. They're both loud and talk aggressively and love to talk about their teenage daughters. And they have those annoying laughs that extraverted middle age bogan women have (does that make sense, does anyone know the laugh I mean? It's loud and sounds kinda fake, but it's not, and is often accompanied by a throwing back of the head.)
And in one of my lectures I was sitting next to the look-a-like of Nicki Hilton.

No Title.

2006-03-01T12:07:00.000+10:30

I woke up this morning in a very grumpy mood, I had to get up at 9 (ok, I should probably not be complaining about this, but I am still in holiday mode) and I was very tired. I missed my bus, cos it was early (damn buses) and I had to wait extra long, cos my next one was late (damn buses) - 15 minutes late to be exact. The only thing that cheered me up at the bus stop was the local neighbourhood heroin junkie was at my bus stop looking all feral as usual, and he was reading a 'CSI:' cartoon comic book. Dunno why, but I thought it was cute. Well, until he started talking to himself in angry voices.
The bus was really full so I had to stand up, and an old-ish man apparently considered me being 3/4 of a metre away from him to be in his personal space and shoved me away. How rude! You can just go around pushing people. And it wasn't even a push, it was a hard shove! Then I squashed into the person on the other side of me and they all thought it was my fault :(

But then I got into work and my manager said that my eyebrows looked good (??), so I'm happy now.

Do you really want to know?

2006-02-22T15:43:00.000+10:30

Probably not, but ...

I have an infected hole in my right ear lobe (as in the pierced bit) cos I wore cheap crappy ear rings all day on Saturday and now it's oozing and it hurts.

I'm allergic to the little stud things that hold jeans together. You know the little ones that are on the pockets? They irritate my skin and break out into little itchy spots symmetrically from my waist down. I don't know where this reaction has come from, I've worn jeans all my life and all of the sudden I'm allergic to all of them!

The buttered popcorn smell is back at my bus stop.

At my O-Week lectures yesterday I was sitting all on my lonesome outside waiting to go in, when a cheery girl doing the rounds handing out flyers for UniSA's equivelant of the O-Ball and a lollypop. As I said I was sitting alone (everyone around was in clusters of friends - seriously, did I miss the memo where everyone made friends? Or do groups make the transition from high school to uni all choosing the same course?) Any-hoo ... the girl said to me: "Hey Guys! ... Oh, I mean, um, Sorry! I'm just so used to saying "Hey Guys!" to groups of people, but you're by yourself! *he-hem*, want a lollypop??"
Just rub it in!!

Melbourne with Dad

2006-02-13T10:28:00.000+10:30

The first week I spent in Melbourne was spent mainly with my Dad. He grew up over there, and is a "Melbourne boy through and through", as he kept telling people everytime it came up in conversation with randoms that he was from Adelaide, which was a lot.
I remember waiting at a train station once, he started talking to this really weird looking guy who was clearly obsessed with public transport, as soon as we got to the train station he says to us, "Hey. What train are you after? Sydenham to City?? Or City to Sydenham? You're at the right station!! Next one is due in, oooo, about, I'd say, 3 and a half minutes ... Got your tickets? You need a ticket! That's the ticket machine right there ...." Dad responds with, "Oh, that's good. Thank you for you help. See, I'm back over here for the first time in 25 years. Yep, grew up here, Melbourne boy through and through."
Crazy train man: "Oh, Really? Where abouts you from?"
Dad (cautiously): "Adelaide .... bu-" (he was cut off by CTM)
CTM: "Oh, Aaaaadelaide ... hm."
Dad: "Oh, no! I'm a Melbourne boy! Grew up here, wouldn't have it any other way. Best city in the world! I even buy the Melbourne newspaper every day! Yep, I do. Everyday. This is my daughter, you can ask her ... don't I??"
Me: "Yep."

The train comes, we get on.
In the city, Dad stops to ask someone in the street where to catch a particular tram.
"Excuse me, I'm back here in Melbourne for the first time in 25 years [I must add this is a total lie, he has been back twice in the last 25 years, although briefly], you see I grew up here, and I've brought my daughter over [and I totally paid for myself!!] to show her around ... you know, where I grew up, around the city, and such ... and was wondering if you could tell me ....."

Then everywhere we went he would exclaim at some building,
"oh!"
[I'm meant to say, "What is it, Dad?!" excitedly]
"See that restaurant over there, that used to be a pub!"
[I'm meant to say, "Wow, a pub?! I can't believe it!"]
But really, I didn't care where used to be, and where there never was, a pub.

And walking around the suburb where he grew up felt like the longest day of my life.
"That used to be a bowling green." followed by a few minutes of reflection, and sometimes he honestly looked like he was gonna cry.
"The old police station is now a play ground!" More reflection.
At his old primary school they've replaced the old-school handball courts (playing against a wall?) with new group four player handball courts. Seriously, any normal person would probably expect that in 50 years, they'd update the playground. Not Dad, he honestly seemed angry that they'd made the change, and triumphantly announced that they'd made a mistake, and that no one would ever use them.

If I come back to the suburb where I grew up in 35 years to reminise (highly doubtful), I am not going to be so naive as to think everything will be exactly the same!

Maybe I'll write more about the other things I did, but it was mainly just shopping and family things.

I'm back from Melbourne!

2006-02-07T16:37:00.000+10:30

And have exactly $9.56 to my name.

Randoms

2006-01-10T14:21:00.000+10:30

Oh no! I really am a loner :( 3 of my search referrals since my last post have been from people googling "loner".
You know those gourmet jelly beans, Jelly Belly's? I swear someone has got a stash of the buttered popcorn flavoured ones at the bus stop near my house. Everytime I'm there (most days) all I can smell is those lollies.
According to technorati.com I have 12 links to my blog. Yay!
I bought a pair of 3/4 jeans yesterday for $17. Score! And I dropped a size. Double score.
I bought a birthday card for my friend today, on the front it has two boxes, in the first one it has a cartoon of an old lady reading a cook book and a thought bubble saying "How to boil an egg ... Turn on the stove...". And then in the second box it has the same old lady in fish nets doing a sexy dance for the oven. Not to sure what it has to do with birthdays, or my friend, but I thought it was funny.

Well that's all from me for about 3 weeks ... I'm off to Melbourne on Friday. I'm pretty excited, but gotta say I'm not looking forward to the 10 hour 20 minute train ride with Dad. And to make it worse my iPod is still not up and running again :(

Toodles!

P.S. And sorry to everyone who's blogs I don't comment on - I never know what to say!

P.P.S. Grzyb, should you read this: sorry but I haven't got Diary of Anne Frank yet (I was gonna, but then I saw Shopgirl instead [did you see the movie? I didn't, but wanted to]) So I prob ain't gonna get it done before the next book club. Am I gonna get kicked out??

I made a friend!

2006-01-08T15:14:00.000+10:30

Someone recently told me that if I want to make new friends I just have to walk up to someone and say "Please be my friend ...?". I think that this is not my style, so I have decided to just let the drunks come to me.*

Last night at work I had an interesting conversation with a drunk guy that has broken up with his girlfriend, and was deciding whether or not he should go to their mutual friends party because she would be there. "I still love her, man! You know?? I don't want to make it uncomfortable for her" he yelled, crying into his filet o' fish.

Then at the bus stop there was the usual old drunk man that I see most nights when I'm catching the 11:20 or 11:45 bus. He's kinda cute for an old feral man with no teeth (not in the physical way. Ew.) - everytime some young guys walk past he follows them with his eyes while standing next to me, quietly warning them off (the way he does it always reminds me of the poo eating crabs in Finding Nemo ... "ey, Eyyyyye ....."), then telling me "watch out for them types."
I can never 100% understand what he says cos he mumbles, but when i do get what he's saying he asks me the exact same thing:
Him: "Had a good night, love?"
Me: "It was ok. I was working."
Him: "Oh where abouts?"
... I say, he asks if it's in a certain street, I nod, he says it used to be a pub, I say I know, he asks if it's good pay, I say it's ok ... then he begins a schpiel about how young people today have no direction and if I wanna be stuck working in a shit hole my whole life I'm going the right way about it ... "unless you go to school or uni too ..."
Me: "Yeah, I go to Uni."
Him: "Oh, which one?"
Me: "Adelaide."
Him: "Where's that?"
I describe where, and he gets it mixed up. I explain what pubs it's near, he understands.

Last night he sat next to me on the bus again, playing corners everytime we went around a roundabout. Most of the time I just sat there, thinking about other things, nodding every now and again, while he "svafa doodo wan. mmmmena Grandma boo ... " (I don't know how to write mumbling.) Anyway, the point is, for the entire 20 minute bus drive he spoke incoherently apart from the word 'Grandma', and then looking at me with a raised eyebrow and asking "Eh?". To which I would respond "Oh ... yeah ..." nodding and smiling.

*This really makes me sound like a loner. I'm not. Please be my friend?

Ouch!

2006-01-02T15:29:00.000+10:30

My feet are so so so so sore :(

On Saturday afternoon I decided to go into town to buy a pair of flat beady-type sandals that I have wanted for while, using the excuse that I would need something semi-comfortable to wear on New Years.

Instead, I found a cuter, cheaper pair of heels that would've worked well with what I was planning to wear ...

Biggest mistake ever!

After the half hour walk to my friends house for a BBQ, my feet were pretty sore. Then after walking around town from 11 pm to about 5 am they were killing me.
I caught the bus home, it usually takes me about 3 or 4 minutes to get home from the bus stop ... It took me 12 minutes this time.

Happy New Year.

But it was a good night, so it's worth it.

What to write about ... ??

2005-12-16T16:27:00.000+10:30

I have been trying to think about what to write for a while now, but I keep coming up with nothing. I have a few interesting stories abou annoying/mentally unstable people I know, but that has proved to be dangerous territory in the past so I will not go there.

And so I will resort to bitching about bad customer service.

I hate bad customer service!

Recently I had ordered food at a fast food place (ok, it was Maccas ...) and the chick at the counter said to me and my sister as she gave me my change "I'm just gonna go grab a drink, when you see your food slide down that chute there, just give one of the girls a call and ask them to go get it for you." That's rude.

Another thing I've had trouble with is mobile phone companies. I was with one network (let's call them, 'O'), but then I bought a new phone from another network, still keeping my number with 'O'. I then tried to get the GPRS settings for my new phone from 'O' and was abused (I would use the word abused) by the guy on the phone for being a 'traitor' for getting the phone from another network, and he refused to give me the settings. He said that they owed me nothing if I chose to treat them like that.
That's crazy! I changed to the network that I bought the phone from because of that.

There's a thousand other stories, but I'm getting annoyed thinking about them.

Here's a list of what I want for Christmas! ...
An 'Elmo wants to be a chicken' dancing doll.
This cute silk handbag from Portmans (totally cute, it looks like a silk scarfe, but it's a bag ... hard to explain, but I love it.)
Tickets to the tennis in Melbourne.
(Tickets to Melbourne!)
An organiser/Diary thing.
This cute coin purse I saw in David Jones.
My two front teeth.

Dammit

2005-12-12T14:06:00.000+10:30

I wrote a post about returning to my old high school, and the hell-like experience I had there today, but the computer exploded*, and it went away.

And I really can't be bothered writing it again.

(Besides, I have a book to read - I'm up to chapter 9 Grz!)

Hopefully it won't be too long before I can think of something else to write about.

* The computer may not have actually exploded.

What is a Blogshare?

2005-11-30T16:55:00.000+10:30

Ok, I tried looking for an explanation, but it's so much easier to get someone else to do it...

One of my referral links thingos came from blogshares.com/industries.php?weight=light&id=2082 - and it says the valuation of my URL is "B$2,770.53".

Can someone please help me?

What is a blogshare?

Cheers big ears'.

Rumble!

2005-11-30T16:33:00.000+10:30

Last week we had a lot more pepsi cans (Dad and his bargains + my brother and his fat belly) in our recycling crate. Most of the cans were at the bottom, with our other recycling thrown in at the top. I went out to see if it had been collected yet on Tuesday morning, to see every single can taken, and the rest of the recycling arranged neatly in the crate. Dad says that it used to happen at our old place too, and thought that it would've stopped now that we're not on a main road anymore.
My point: Who does this?
Sure, the person would've made like $2 off us alone and I suppose if they went to enough houses they'd make a few more dollars, but I think it's kinda pathetic.
I suggested that someone (my brother) go around collecting others' cans even earlier in the morning, and we can have some sort of territorial rumble in the middle of the street over who gets to raid everyones recycling.
It reminds me of the people that walk around the city going through bins (I have nothing against these people, last time I criticised people in town scrounging for money trouble started) - is that why SA is the only state with the 5c bottle deposit thing? So that they don't have people going through their bins in the main streets of the city?

Woo Hoo it's December, which means Christmas. I've already done all my shopping, which means no money :(

"Last Night ..."

2005-11-24T12:54:00.001+10:30

Last night was my Mum's play, The Wizard of Oz-Lan. After an emotionally stressful beginning to the week and a full day at work, I wasn't looking forward to going to a play where I would only be able to understand about 30% of the dialogue. Mum said it was ok and that I didn't have to go, but I knew she'd be happy so I went.
It was at Deaf SA or something like that in the city. The also have a bar there - the quietest pub in the world.
My mum had also invited her deaf friend Julie, who brought along her daughter Sarah. Again, it takes a lot to handle her sometimes. For a while now she's started every story with "Last night ..."
"Last night, Bevly's breathe stank cos she smoked and she died!!"
'Bevly' was Sarah's dog who died about 4 years ago because she got in a fight with another dog.
"Last night, Ebny, your daughter ... Rystle!! Look at me! Rystle! Your Daughter pulled a funny face! In the car. Last night." 'Ebny' (Ebony) is my sister and she had sneezed... about 6 months ago.
"Last night my daughter Lisa, and my Son, Sarah Z came over to the shops!" Lisa is her sister, and Sarah Z is her niece.
She's a sweetheart and I love her, but you have to react so enthusiastically to everything she says, otherwise she gets upset, and I was so tired.

So the play was about Dorothy and how her Aunt and Uncle refused to sign to her, The Lion who didn't know how to speak sign language, but wanted to learn so he could become a better person, The Tin Man who could sign, but had no facial expression, and the scarecrow who had no brain (the connection to the Deaf community there was something like just cos he's deaf doesn't mean he doesn't have a brain). And instead of the Yellow Brick Road, it was 'The Blue Ribbon Way'. I'm not sure what that was about.

When I got home I just wanted to go to bed. But then Julie and Sarah had come over for a little while afterwards.
Sarah decided to come into my room to rearrange everything and tell me off for my low cut singlet (which was 1. a pyjama top, so does it really matter? and 2. Not even low in the first place).
All over my wardrobe I have pictures of friends and family. She spent an hour pointing to every one: "Is that you, Rystle!!?"
If it was, she'd tackle me with this huge hug (she's a BIG girl) and if it wasn't, she'd look at me sadly, and I'd have to find a photo with me in it to say: "But that one's me ..." and endure the hug anyway.

That's all I got.

What a shame ...

2005-11-22T16:15:00.000+10:30

There's this old drunk man that always comes into work and orders "One cheeseburger. One large fries. Take away." He's always a little rude, but if you just get his order quickly he buggers off.
But yesterday there were some teenage skater peoples standing in his way, so when he gets to the counter says to me, "Young dickheads. eh? eh? You know what I'm saying. Always in the way, you bastards!! Eh? Such a shame, one of ya's born every day, but only one of ya's dies a year ... shame shame. I said, shame, isn't it? One cheeseburger. One large fries. Take away."
I don't know if I was meant to agree to that.

BLEGH!!

2005-11-11T14:42:00.000+10:30

Another forward I got:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
Girl hugs him
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(in the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure.
Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
If u love any one this much...let them know...before its too late... I love you 4 ever.....and always 2 the end....i cant live without ya.....b-cuz ur my friend.....

Ew it makes me wanna throw up!

~~

I was looking at my statcounter and noticed someone from Pakistan found my blog by searching on google:
"how a woman clean hairs from unwanted areas of her bidy"

unwanted areas of her bidy??

"What the hell are you meant to be??"

2005-11-08T15:06:00.000+10:30

My Mum does a sign language course at Tafe, and part of this semester's work is to create a play entirely in sign language. It's an adaptation of The Wizard of Oz (appropriately named the Wizard of Oz-lan). Weeks ago they were paired with someone else in the play and were told they had to make a costume for their partners character, which has to be handed in tomorrow. Mum started it this morning (I see where I get it from).
So, I walk into the dining/living room area this morning to see my mother draped in a yellow sheet, with a hole in the top of it for her head to pop through.
"What the hell are you meant to be??" I asked.
"I'm an ear of corn!!" She said, sounding like she expected me to know. Then she said, kinda sadly, "What, can't you tell?? Should I do something to it??"
I just said, "I dunno. Whatever."

I come back a little later and she's spray painted two circles of cardboard yellow and stuck them out of her back (so they come over her shoulders), and she's tied a yellow piece of string around her head.
"What do you think??"
I just smiled.

I'm not too familiar with the story, but where in The Wizard of Oz is there a giant ear of corn?

I got nothing

2005-10-28T11:49:00.000+09:30

I have nothing to talk about :(

There is a pretty exciting story about nearly getting killed (possibly an exaggeration) by a dickhead in a most likely stolen car at Tea Tree Plaza the other night, but everyone I've told seems not to care.

I told my best friend in a message and hassled her when she didn't reply, and I got "complain complain complain. How many messages would I get from you if you did die?!"
And I told Dad and he said, "Mmhm. Now, you're not working tonight, are you? Will you be here for dinner?"

So unloved.

I might include the story sometime, but can't be bothered writing it right now.

Beetle Juice

2005-10-24T12:22:00.000+09:30

Eeeewww!

There are bugs every around my new house. Cos our backyard isn't landscaped yet and is practically all sand and dirt, everytime it rains the cement surrounding the house ends up with worms all over it. Ew ew ew ew.

There was a wasp building a nest above one of our windows, bees flying around the flowers in our front yard, a daddy long legs in a web in the kitchen (I've noticed most houses have daddy long legs in corners somewhere, but at our old house in the whole 18 years I lived there I do not recall ever seeing one), there were two toehr giant ugly spiders in the laundry, and millipedes in between the bricks outside. As well as mosquitoes! And I saw two caterpillars yesterday.

We never had bugs at our old place. And I liked it that way.

Look at moi

2005-10-17T10:55:00.000+09:30

At work last night I served a woman who came in with her son. Her son would've been about 3 years old.
She wouldn't order food for him until he looked her in the eyes and said what he wanted. He was playing with a little truck thing on the counter and said "I want a cheeseburger, please!" and she screamed at him, "You will NOT get any food until you look at MUMMY!!!" So he looked at her and she bought him food.
Obviously she's just trying to teach him to look at people when he speaks to them, but she was a bit psycho.

Then later I was out cleaning the dining area and I overheard the woman talking to her son:
Mum: "Tell me what an Omnivore is... C'mon, what is it?"
Son (in the saddest voice you've ever heard come from a three year old child): "It's a person or animal that eats food from plants and animals, mummy."
Mum: "Right. So what are you then?"
Son (Brightens up): "I'm a fish-a-tarian! It means I only eat fish and sausages!"
It was so adorable! But the Mum jumps in with: "NO!! That's not a real thing! Don't get smart with me."
The poor thing :(

Aargh!

2005-10-10T16:50:00.000+09:30

I was walking from Uni to Rundle Mall through one of the side street thingos (the one next to David Jones) when a feral looking woman stopped me and said: "hey, got $2 for me to catch the bus?". While it is true that had I had $2 on me I probably would not have given it to her, this time it was true that I did not, so I said "Sorry, I don't have $2 on me..." And went on my way.

I've had bad reactions to this before, where they'll call me a bitch or something (a guy that I work with was at a bus interchange in a not-so-good suburb once where he didn't hand over any change and the woman scratched at his eyes!). This time the woman seemed to take it pretty well and kept walking in the other direction. A few seconds later I heard her scratchy voice screaming, "hey, you mole! Get over here, ya mole!" I think she must be bugging someone else. I turn around to look and she says, "Yeah, you! Get here! Get here!" I think, "Me??" and turn around to keep walking. She continues screaming abuse and begins to run towards me, I think "Oh, shit." and quickly turn the corner and walk into Portmans. She didn't follow me in there, thank goodness.

Don't I have a right not to give my money to bums on the street? She was drunk and was smoking a cigarette at the time ... so where'd she get the money for alcohol? I'm guessing she bummed the cigarette from someone so there's no cost there, but I ain't giving her $2 to get home when she probably had no real reason to leave the house in the first place.

It's a conspiracy!

2005-10-06T14:03:00.000+09:30

Dad catches buses pretty much everywhere he goes, so he notices the same drivers quite often. He's one of those people that know when a bus should be there, and if it's not then it's all "Where's this bus?? It's three and a half minutes late. I mean really, how long does it take to get from .... blah blah blah".

A few times when a bus is late, he's said "Hey, mate, you're running a bit late , buddy..." to the driver. I wish he wouldn't. Once a driver said to him, "No I'm not, you read the timetable wrong." This was a mistake.
"No... actually ... I didn't. You're late. I catch this bus all the time. You're late. I'm sorry, mate, but you're late."
An argument then followed, when both my stubborn father and the stubborn driver argued over who was right, with my Dad pulling out his timetable, and the driver refusing to look ... it was all very embarassing.

About a week ago I got home and Dad says "You'll never believe what happened to me today!! The bus was 6 minutes late already, and I was thinking 'Where's this bus? It's 6 minutes late ...' when I notice it coming down the road. I get up and it says "not in service" on the front, but it said 'Tea Tree Plaza' when I looked up before ... It must have been one of those drivers that don't like me. He purposely changed the bus to being not in service cos he doesn't like me!"

Since then it has happened twice more. I'm starting to think my Dad is imagining it.

Blimey Govna!

2005-10-05T12:11:00.000+09:30

I find certain accents mesmerizing ... some French teenage boys came into work a little while ago and me and another girl were practically fighting to serve them. And I like South African ones too.
The guy doing my Media Studies lectures at the moment has one of those English accents - not the fancy one, not the feral one, but the other one. He says "fink" instead of "think", and "john-rah" instead of "genre", and "cinemar" and "unforch-netlee". It was my most successful lecture yet, I took in nearly everything. We have another lecturer who sounds like that comedian Judith Lucy (I hate her voice!) - I don't remember anything from that set of lectures.
He was talking about documentaries and one that we had to watch (I think I spoke about it a few weeks ago) was all American war propaganda, there was a quote or something from it that said something like when America was founded there was no genocide and it was a "virgin continent", the guy with the accent said about this in the lecture, "hmph, 'virgin continent'? Well, then who got fucked? Clearly the native Americans."

I had to go shopping with my Dad yesterday cos he needed my opinion on something. I never like going shopping with Dad because if I even look at something (anything) that costs more than $10 I get a lecture about how it's not worth it, I can't afford it etc etc etc. And he is also embarassing. We were passing through Myers when he spotted a security guard, in between stopping to tell me how expensive everything I was glancing at was, he said quite loudly, "Security? Wow, that's a common name! he heheeeh eheheh". 'He heheeeh eheheh' is how my Dad laughs.
Then later I was looking at hair straighteners and Dad walks up to me and says, "Do you need any help there, ma'am?" I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and he continues, again loudly, "It's casual dress today, ma'am...".

Oh, Mother ...

2005-10-04T12:11:00.000+09:30

My Mum and I have always been very different and I've never been really close to her. I think she's noticed this and is trying to forge a closer bond with my sister to make up for it. Sh'll try and do the "mother daughter" thing and show Eb how to use make-up (which probably isn't such a good idea, because I don't think Mum knows how to use make up herself. It's all very 80s.)

To be "cool" Mum has started listening to Good Charlotte, Green Day and those other "look at me I'm wearing black nail polish and I have greasy hair so I must be a punk" type groups. My brother thinks she's "Totally cool!" as he wrote in his letter that he is sending off to Green Day, but it's not working with my sister.

I noticed a box of hair dye in our bathroom with a male on the front. I went and said to Dad "Oh my God, are you dying your hair!?", Afterwards I realised that if he was in fact dying his hair for whatever reason then that probably would've been a pretty mean thing to say. But he said it was Mum's.
Why was Mum using male hair dye? "Because I've been searching for this colour for ages, ALRIGHT?!" Eep. Er, ok ...

So she got Eb to help her dye her hair, and tried to convince her to get a single black streak down one side of her head, which thank God she had the courage to decline (normally my sister doesn't like to displease, and so she will agree to anything). So now Mum has black hair - what next? A bright red fringe and piercings?

Argh!

2005-09-26T16:28:00.000+09:30

I just wrote a long post and lost it all!

Bloody blogger.

I can't be stuffed doing it again now.

Fucking Forwards

2005-09-18T23:03:00.000+09:30

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Who sends this stuff? I read the first one and think, "Blegh!" ... who would send that on?
I read this second one and think, "I don't even drive. Bugger off."

>>When a GUY is quiet, Millions of things are running in his mind. > > >>When a GUY is not arguing, he is thinking deeply. > > >>When a GUY looks at u with eyes full of questions, he is > > >>wondering how long you will be around. > > >>When a GUY answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, he is not at all > > >>fine. > > >>When a GUY stares at you, he is wondering why you are lying. > > >>When a GUY lays on your chest, he is wishing for you to be his > > >>forever. > > >>When a GUY wants to see you everyday, he wants to be pampered. > > >>When a GUY says I love you, he means it. > > >>When a GUY says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you > > >>more than that > > >>Send this to everyone in ur list > > >>or u will have bad luck in ur love... > > >>U will get kissed on > >Friday. > > >>Don’t break this! If i dont get this back ur not my friend, > > >>if u have love 4 some 1 copy n send this to ur whole list... in > > >>5 > > >>mins ur true love will call

IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN AUSTRALIA DID NOT PURCHASE ADROP OF PETROL FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.
AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES.
THEREFORE THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 22nd HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT UP THEIR BEHIND " DAY AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF PETROL THAT DAY. THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT. WAITING ON THE GOVERNMENT TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES ISNOT GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL INPRICES THAT THE ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO?
REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF PETROL GOING UP BUT AT THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING COMPANIES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH EFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT IS SHIPPED.
THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING SUPPLIES MEDICAL SUPPLIES ETC. WHO PAYS IN THE END? WE DO! WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON’T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE DAY, WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD. FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND MAKE SEPTEMBER 22nd A DAY THAT THE CITIZENS OF AUSTRALIA SAY "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"

Nick Reiwoldt

2005-09-16T11:48:00.000+09:30

Someone got a link to my blog ... my innocent little blog ... by searching "Nick Reiwoldt wanking off" on Google.

What the fuck?

A few posts back I mentioned how childish my parents are. This morning an incident occured which backs this post up.

I was talking to Dad about something and somehow we got talking about how the three thingy-ma-bobs of the law (judiciary, executive and legislative ... I've forgotten their collective name) are not allowe dto interfere with eachother and Dad said that he thinks the Premier should be allowed to do whatever he wants and interfere with them all.
I disagreed and argued my view.
Eventually I gave up and said, "Look, whatever, I gotta have a shower."

I get in the shower and for some reason the hot water stops working. A little pissed off I got to investigate why.
Dad had turned the hot water on in the kitchen on purpose because I disagreed with him.

Silent Treatment

2005-09-13T11:25:00.000+09:30

My parents would have to be two of the most childish people I know.

My Dad can never admit when he is wrong. I know a lot of people that are reluctant to admit when they are wrong, but most people take it ok when they are. But I have never heard my Dad say he was wrong about something. Many times I have proven something he said was wrong, and he just screws up his face, walks away and doesn't talk to me for a few hours.

Most recently was when he said that in the morning the sun will shine through my bedroom window as it rises. I explained this wasn't true, and that it rises against the back of the house, not the side where my room is. He fought it for about 20 minutes before I managed to convince him I was right. Again, he just pulled a face and stormed off.
It's the same thing whenever I don't agree with an opinion of his or if I have a different way of doing something to him. He stomps around the place, doesn't speak to me and slams doors. My little sister doesn't even do that.

Mum is no better. If she's having her "bird time" with the bloody budgie (she pays more attention to that thing than all the attention she gives her four children combined) and my sister comes to give her a hug or something, Mum will give out a huge wail/scream, and Eb jumps back. Once this happened when I was in the room, I asked "What's going on?". Mum replies, "She's touching me!" God woman, are you 7? You're not gonna get germs!

Last night Mum and Dad had a fight to do with cleaning or the computer or something, and Dad had said that Mum needs to do a little more around the house instead of making me do so much (I'm a daddies girl). Mum took offence to this and once Dad had left the room she turned around and started yelling at my sister that it was her fault they'd had a fight, because my sister 'dobbed' (actual word she used) on my mum.
She didn't know I was standing right behind her when she said, "I'm never talking to your father or Krystle again!" This is when I let out a little cough to make my presence known. Mum turned around, made a little face and stormed past me.
Not the behaviour I would expect from a 47 year old woman.
And how dare she tell my sister it was her fault that Mum and Dad were fighting.
Unfortuantely she spoke to me this morning.

~~

There's this guy that lives in my area somewhere that I recognise from my bus be. He seems a little weird and always talks to people ... and not in a friendly stranger way, but in a creepy middle aged man way.
He catches the bus from my bus stop, I found out today. He was standing near-ish to me when he said something. I couldn't quite hear what he said, but I assumed it was to me because I was the only one there. I looked at him and went to say, "Sorry?" when he shot me a look that said "Why are you looking at me?". So I went back to staring at the ground. Then he spoke again, looking out at the road. Getting a little freaked out, I looked in the complete opposite direction. His voice started getting louder and more aggressive ... eventually he said "Fine! Fuck ya then! And stormed across the street.
Eep.

I'm feeling patriotic ...

2005-09-09T13:25:00.000+09:30

Just came from Media Studies, where we watched "War in America". A documentary made in what I'm guess in was the early 1950's (at the latest).
Wow, I never realised how great minority America was during World War II. Can you imagine? 30 million against 200 miliion troops, with America risking it's arse just to save the little guys like in the Panama canal and all that. By the end of the film I think we were all meant to go out and buy an American flag or something, it was sickening.
The documentary was horrible.

Anyway, moving on.

My brother is an idiot. He has this "friend" that he's known for ages, and the "friend" (Matthew) has always been a jerk. He uses my brother to borrow things and stay over and tease ... He always lies to my brother and because my brother is stupid he believes him.
Once, my brother invited Matthew over. He said he'd be there at 12. My brother waits on the door step for him. 3 hours later my brother rings him to ask where abouts he is. "Yeah, I'm on my way now. I'm on my bike so I'll be about 2 minutes." Yeah, he never showed up.

Then, Matt tells my brother "Hey, wanna come to the (Royal Adelaide) show with me? Just give me $10, and I'll give you $30 when we get in, for you to spend." Who believes that?! My brother does.

The worst one: Matthew asks my brother if he can borrow his Gameboy, 6 games, a Nintendo64 game and some connecting cable things. My brother says yes, except for the Nintendo64 game, as that was one my brother had already borrowed from another friend. Matt reassures my brother that he'll return everything fine, so my brother lends him it all.

2 weeks later, Matthew comes to school saying "Sorry mate, the stuff was all stolen." And my brother believes him. I do not.
Then today I found out that Matthew (the little asshole of a turd) sold it all to some kid named Max for $20!

And my brother wants Matt to come and stay over tonight.
Does or does not my brother need a good slap over the head?
Why does he still listen to this guy.

But if Matt wants to come stay over tonight, I say go ahead. After him being such a little shit, I'm sure my Dad would be absolutely calm around him.*

In other news, I saw a girl that I went to primary school with pulling out of her drive way today. I haven't seen her in quite a few years, but I always remember she was never really popular and used to cry all the time. Everytime someone tried to befriend her, she'd turn around and be a bitch to them.
Her number plate is "Cool 84" ...

* This is not true. My Dad would not be calm. I spilt two drops of orange juice on the counter the other day without noticing and he went spastic.

ARGH! Spiders!

2005-09-06T10:05:00.000+09:30

My number one fear is spiders ... I can't stand them! I start freaking out whenever I am near one.
A couple of years ago when I was up in Queensland staying ith some family during summer my cousin and I would freak out every time we saw a spider. Eventually my Uncle said to us "Stop being stupid little girls and grow up! They'll never hurt you!" Sure, they may not hurt us, but they have lots of legs!
Anyway, so one morning we went down to the garage to get something and on the roller-door was the BIGGEST spider you have ever seen. Seriously, it was bigger than a really big man's hand. My cousin called my uncle from upstairs (I would've - but I couldn't speak!) and he told us to 'stop being babies!'. What a bastard.

Back to my point ... last night I got home ... I open the door, mill around the lounge room for a bit ... then head down the hallway ... into my room ... out of my room past my sisters door ... BAM!! Spider! A huge massive disgusting black gross icky spider on my sister's door ... I let out a squeal and jump back, breathing heavily ...

More like an octopus than a spider

That stupid little bitch!

As fake as this thing looks, I can not walk past it without getting a little jump in my stomach unless I am conciously thinking "The spider on Eb's door is not real." Cos otherwise I forget it's there, and think it's real again :(

I went to the Royal Adelaide Show yesterday, and here are some pictures:

"Take me home, Krystle!"

Kinda scary

Sorry, I took em with my phone so they're not that good.

I want to buy a fish but I'm afraid it will die. Maybe I should start with SeaMonkeys.